Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Lobster for Christmas

What's the difference between a French Christmas and an American one?

(Besides the fact that they call it Noël and we call it Christmas.)

Liver paste for a starter and not cranberry sauce, raw oysters and huge lobsters as opposed to huge turkey and honey baked ham, Christmas cake from a famous bakery and not homemade pumpkin pie, and no mashed potatoes! Yeah, that is what is different.

Christmas was wonderful. It was so much better than I thought it would be. I had secretly been dreading the thought of spending another awkwardChristmass with another foreign family. However, I had also known that if I didn't spend it with someone who was happy then I would be unhappy for weeks afterwards.

So, I spent the day with Jb and his family and all I can say is that they are an awesome bunch of people. Even though I am pretty much unable to communicate with them in their own language, and I don't have any funny stories about the past like they do, I still felt like they wanted me to be included in the fun. They gave me presents for cripes sake! I wasn't expecting that at all. I felt kind of silly because all I had gotten for them was a box of chocolates. (They were really nice chocolates, but still if I had known, things would have been different!)

*Mental note to self: Don't believe Jb, next time he tells me that all I need to bring is chocolates.

There was so much chocolate given and received in the form of gifts that you could probably kill 25- 30 dogs with it. (If you were really mean, and or liked killing dogs. Which by the way I am not predisposed to doing, unless they are eating the chicken on my families farm, then I am.) Two huge, oh, wait let me make that, HUGE, jars of Nutella were given, as well as multiple boxes of various chocolate. Hmmm...I think perhaps the family has an addiction? I like them even more now.

Anywho, it was an awesome time and I am glad that I was able to spend it with such great people.

In other news:
Life is still good and I am glad that I am on vacation still. I have been sleeping till all hours of the day/afternoon, and I love it! He he he, sleep is great.
I talked to my Pop and two little sisters today on the phone as well as Mrs. Slattery and Colleen for a bit. I just kept babbling on and on, so I think perhaps they think I am insane, but I don't mind.
I also got a phone call from my very good friend Ewa this evening! I haven't heard her voice in 6-7 months so I was super surprised when she called me, out of the blue. Actually, I was even more surprised by the call 'cause I was in the bath. I didn'trecognizee her voice at first and she thought that was funny. I felt like a fool.
Nothing new there though, as I am almost daily participating in a situation of feeling not as smart as I usually do, because Jb is smarter than me and I find that is weird.
I got an invitationn from aunt Bethany to come out and see her and uncle Dave this summer when I am home in the states and I think that would be really fun to do. I feel fairly distant from all of my aunts and uncles, and cousins, and what have you. It will be nice to get to know a little more about the Krump blood.

I'm gonna go watch Ushuaïa with Jb now. Its a nature show kind of like a National Geographic type deal. Very cool if I do say so myself! It goes all over the world and into the most beautiful and exotic places.

By the way: Yes, I do realize that I have been a very bad blogger of late, but as there is no way that any of you can punish me for my lack of words, (as Nelson of The Simpsons says,) "Ha ha!"

P.s Thank you to all my many friends for visiting me here and saying hello. However, if another person who has been a real part of my past asks me if I remember them I am going to screem! Of course I remember you! As the saying goes: "Elephants never forget!" I'm glad you are doing ok Meg. Write me a real email sometime won't you?

Happy, belated, Christmas everybody! Have a wonderful New Year!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Well, I am a human still, but that is cool.


To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
brought to you by

Two pictures I just stole from Bernadettes blog!

Bad Bernadette! How could you post them before you even sent them to me! Now I have had to steal them from your blog in order to put them on mine! The things I have to go through just to get pictures from people with digital cameras! Hrmph. I tell ya, hardship is not having a camera myself.

Anywho, here is a nice blurry one that Jb took of Bernadette and I being dramatic infront of my favorite tower. Yes, I see her every, single, day! But I still think she is beautiful!

Yeah, I think she has only bad pictures. Ha ha ha, we look pathetic! But there you go world! Now you know what Jb looks like. Bernadette and I decided that he kind of looks like a Bratz doll. after note, this picture was taken moments before I fell down the stairs in LaFayette Shopping centre. Stupid skirts!

Miss Fish

I think it is a she. Well, I want it to be a she anyways. I'm not sure what to name her yet. She is a medium sized fish and she is really a yellowy gold color, not an orangey/redish gold at all. A very pretty fish, if I do say so myself. I bought her last night and then took her with me to eat a crepe and watch a movie. Hey, I'm not weird, it's just that no one else was available for hang out time! My hungarian friends were babysitting, Jb was going to a different movie with other friends, Matt was studying... etc. And I really wanted to see the film before it left the theatre, so I went with my gold fish. By the by she didn't seem too scared of "The Exocism of Emily Rose",even though I was a bit freaked out. Well, it is just that I have seen too much is all, and the fact that I had to take the last train out of Paris by myself at 12:45 am just after seeing it didn't help my over active imagination/guilty conscience trip. Anywho, I was glad Miss Fish was with me, for the comfort of being able to be concerned about her. Transcending my fears and worrying about a fish... is that normal? I don't know.

If anyone has any suggestions for naming her, plaese share.

I was late for work this morning. Which sucks. Bad me. I dropped my phone in Paris and the battery popped out, so I had to reset the time and when I was doing that I forgot to reset my alarm, so I was late. I really need to check to see if my brain is logged on sometimes. It was only the first time, and Chelsea was here, so I hope that Lydie isn't going too be to upset with me when I see her tonight. Ugh. Nobody likes to be yelled at.

One more thing:

I actually got those Disneyland pics up now, they are just after errr...before my last post about Mel and Justin. I forgot to change the date from the saved date to the current date. My bad.

Have a happy fishy day!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

A gold ring, a lone girl, a visitor or 5, and a gold fish.

Melissa Vanvorde and Justin Enfield are engaged!

Oh, soo cool! They are an awesome couple and I am happy for them both. I knew them both before they even liked each other. Individaully cool, but absolutely awesome as a couple. Their kids are going to have the best senses of humer ever!

So, I seem to be one of the few that escaped Ave Maria without getting engaged. Mwah ha ha ha! Wait, is that a good thing? I dunno, I suppose that if I was meant to love someone there then I would, so it must be a good thing, otherwise I would be in a bad situation. So, my being "Oh, soo single" is really a good thing, it just means that I still have to wait till "he" figures out what God wants.

*"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming"...Oops, I mean: waiting. Yes, that's better. "Just keep waiting, just keep waiting..."*

No big deal. I can handle being alone... As long as I have a friend or two to bide my time with. Wait, I guess that means that I can't really handle being alone. Noo! I am not one of those people am I? No, I can't be, because if I have a book, or a computer to interact with then I can be alone no problem. Ok. So, maybe I am a little bit of a needy person. But so what? Lots of people are. No big deal, right? I mean there are people that are worse than me. They are the clingy ones. Eeew gross: Clingons. :)

So, in other news: This past week has been pretty interesting.

Marissa M., dropped by last, Saturday night, no I mean the one before that, with two other Ave Florida girls. They stayed at my place on sat. night and left for Gaming again on Sunday morning. I enjoyed having them over. They took some good pictures, and I am still waiting for them to email some to me so that I can post 'em up here.

Last Friday, 4 days ago, Angels little sister, Bernadette, stopped by as well. At first it was kind of weird, because we had never really hung out before. I guess I was just expecting her to be like Angel, but of course she is her own being, and anyways how could the world have two Angels! It wouldn't be able to handle them. I turns out that we get along really well and she stayed till Sunday night; We had a few little adventures, thanks mostly to J.b., but I also had a small hand in it. For instance,at my urging, we sneaked/snook into The Louvre on Saturday evening just before it closed. Mona Lisa for free.

On Saturday afternoon, while dragging Bernadette with me, I met up with an old friend of mine from Ireland, Stephanie. She is French, but from the west, and she was in Paris to visit some of her other friends that have moved here. It was good to see her, we haven't seen each other in 6 months. However, she was very preoccupied, with finding a sweater for a party that she was attending that evening, so it wasn't exactly what I had hoped it would be. This is life. You miss someone and want to see them and then when you do they are to busy with other friends, or clothes, to really even talk.

This Sunday, the old nounou of the Delile family flew in from New York. It will be cool to finally meet her. We have talked on the phone a couple times, and IM more than a few times. She seems like a really cool girl. She is busy writing a paper for school right now, but maybe tomorrow we will hang out.

Yesterday I had a good day, but then a not so good evening with Laure, the youngest. I really need to work on figuring her out a little more. She was really just a little monster. I think Lydie was right, I should stop trying to use the reward system on her, it just doesn't work. She just gets even more upset. Blah! It always used to work for me when I was little.

Today I am typing out a list of songs that I think J.b. should download onto his iPod. That ipod is so cool, it is an invaluable part of our walking about. On the metro, Bernadette said that we were like Siamese twins joined at the ear. Which is funny, because it is true. What's really funny is when we start singing along and no one else can hear the song. We are such geeks.
I just tried to put some links in my side bar, but I failed. I will fix that tomorrow if I have the patience then. So, yeah life is still good, even though I didn't get a chance to buy a goldfish yet.

I really want a gold fish!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Pictures from Disneyland Paris!

Ok, so beneath, in little groups, are some cool pictures of the stuff I got to see at Disneyland three weeks ago. Not all of them were taken by us, I downlaoded a few from the official sight. I wanted you to see what I got to see, but we didn't take enough pictures. In my opinion anyways. It was just that the kids and Lydie had been there a few times already, so it wasn't as much of a novelty for them as it was for me. Hence so few pictures.

Hope you like them though!

Heck yeah! Pirates of the Caribbean! Lydie told me it was the best one at the park, and it was so cool that we went through twice in a row!

A couple of Ladies being auctioned off by the pirates. Poor things.

Ooh, pretty shiny things! Look at all the riches!

(Now, think of different pirates.)

"Captain! Oh Captain look at me!"

Then, when you have his attention he ruins the photo with his hook. How just like a pirate!

Don't do it Wendy, Peter will save you!


It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all...etc. etc.

Another famous figure I saw when I was there.

This is Big Thunder mountain. It was a pretty cool ride.

Just a little sign that reminded me, in the middle of my day dreaming, that I was still in France. (Fastpass enter with ticket.)

This is Sleeping Beauty's catsle. Isn't it beautiful! It was real too, not Poly filler-ish.

One of the floats in the parade. It was really nice I got to wave to Mickey Mouse! I think Goofy, Pluto and Donald were in this one, but I am not sure.

Round and round the merry-go-round!
I was having fun, but it doesn't look like my horse was. It must be the giant pole they shoved through her back. I would probably make that face too if I had one through my back. By the way, the boy next to me is Thomas, the oldest of the three children I mind. And, I have to give props to Aurélie, the middle child, because she took this picture while riding her own horse backwards. Now that is talent!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

The fulfillment of a childhood dream.

When I was a little girl, living in a suburb of Chicago, I remember one day when my father said that we were going to be touring the local pawn shops that day. There was a pin of some kind that one of my grandfathers had given to my mother a long time ago. It was definitely and antique and this was during one of those times when day was sick and we were seriously out of money. I remember that I was still the only girl in the family, but that I already had 5 brothers. It was before my mom got pregnant with Jubilee, my closest sister. I must have been about 71/2 or 8 years old. Way back when there were really only 3 things I could talk to my brothers about without the threat of getting picked on or pushed aside. We could talk about sports. Mainly baseball, because we were all of us in a league, but we could also talk about basketball. Because at that time Michael Jordan was still the hottest thing around and "Duh Bulls" were doing awesome. We could talk about Mom and dad and how unfair we thought they were, or how cool we thought they were and what kind of presents we thought we could convince them to buy us for Christmas. And we could talk about Disney Land.
I remember seeing how sad my father was that day as we drove around from pawn shop to pawn shop. I also remember what it was my 4 brothers and I were talking about: Disney Land. We all wanted to go so badly. I dreamed Disney dreams, slept in Mickey Mouse sheets, and every night when I saw the first star in the sky I would wish on it that I would be able to fly like Peter Pan. Back then we had one very tiny television, and my father was continually taking it away from us and hiding it so that we would go outside to play, because when we had it we watched Disney movies all day long.
He loved everything Disney too, and was happy that we loved them, but on that day, all of our cheerful dreaming aloud was really hurting him. He knew that we wanted to go there and he knew how much fun we could all have there, but he also, probably, knew that we would never be able to all go as a family. I can't remember exactly who asked it but one of us said 'Pop when can we go to Disney Land?' I was young, but I remember how he was struggling with the answer. He knew that we lived more on the dreams of tomorrow than in our lives of the day. He said that we would all go someday, but that he wasn't sure when. Then I said "But Pop, if we sell the silver thing we will be rich right!? Then we can go to Disney Land can't we?" He smiled at me and said something like 'Yes, if we get rich from selling the pin then we can go to Disney Land.' I was satisfied. I was happy that our days mission might lead to Disney Land. M
When my father stopped at another pawn shop, this one in Cicero, he told us this was the last one and that we could stay in the car if we wanted. Some of us stayed and some of us went. Jonathan, my immediate older brother, and I stayed in the car. We had both seen enough old stuff for the day. I remember what he said to me after dad had been gone for just a few minutes. "We're never going to all be able to go you know? Even if Pop gets a couple hundred bucks, which is a lot, we still can't go. We are one of those families that can never go. We're poor, Ooty, POOR, and there is no way that it will ever happen." When my father came back to the car I had stopped talking about Disney Land. A part of me had died that day. I don't hate Jon for saying it, but I do hate myself for believing him.

Last Friday I went to Disney Land Paris. I wept 3 silent tears as we drove through the gates. The first ride I went on was the Peter Pan one. I didn't spend 1 cent and I saw and did so much. So there Jon Bean! It doesn't matter if you have money or not Captain Hook still gives you a hug if you want one.

I will try to upload the pictures as soon as I figure out how.

After note: In my family we all have nick names. No one really goes by their given name. We always remember to introduce each other by our real names, but we hardly ever use them other wise.
The List of family given nick names:
Dad = Pop/Popper "P" the potomus/ and as we got older "Crazy Pete" behind his back.
Mom = Mom/Mammy/ and Pop calls her Muffin or sometimes Pernelli Muff
Nathan = Gump/Nate
David = Dave/Davie
Jonathan = Jon bean
Havilah = Ooty/Ooty Pie
Peter = Pider/Pi
Joseph = Joe bug
Jubilee = Juby/ Jub-jub/Jub a lub/Booby
Galadriel = Gelly/ Jelly belly

Thursday, December 01, 2005

I should be doing something better with my time!

Instead, currently I am in the process of memorizing the words to "L'Hymne De Nos Campagnes" by Tryo. It is in French, but JB lent the cd to me yesterday and said that I should learn the refrain, so I said that I would learn the whole song. Yeah, just watch me chew this bite. It's a cool song though and if I could make the sound byte thingy work I would post some of it for those of you in the States to hear. I suggest that you look it up if you have time. You can ask google to translate it for you if you want.

In other news:

I love the bath tub in the Deliles home. I can float in it, and if I want to add more hot water I can just use my toes to turn the nobs! The best tub ever.

I think I will dye my hair again, I will just go a bit darker. I thought I had gotten rid of the blonde in October, but the other day, in an elavator, I showed JB my drivers license. The picture had me with short dark hair, and he was surprised, "But your not blonde?" To which I replied that I am not blonde now either, just light brown. He said I was too blonde! Apparently I hadn't noticed but I had become blonde again. I guess the permanent color just kept fading so slowly that I didn't see it happening. Why won't the dark color stay in my hair! I'm gonna try to be my regular brunette self again soon. The dye is only 5 euro, so why not?

Today I added up how many of those tests I have taken on Tickle and I came to the number 122. Can you imagine how many hours I must have spent on that sight by now? I'm disgusted with myself! I have been taking them for 3 years now. (I dunno, some of theresults are funny.)If anyone wants to they can check out what I am like, according to Tickle. It tells you such things as my IQ, what type of secrets I keep burried, whether I am right brained or left, what my handwritting says about me, and other various things. Go for it people. I am done with Tickle now anyways, I don't like how much I have been on there lately, so I give you free reign to mess with my profile if you want, and even take weird tests yourself with my profile if you want. I'm gonna delete it in a month or so anyways. Here is the link for you: To sign in use havilah17 and maggie as the password.

Bonjour, Celine! Je suis étonné de voir votre note. Drôle! Jb indiquent à moi que votre sont une soeur très bonne. Je serai heureux de vous rencontrer. Merci de l'invitation. Peut-etre je vous vois dans Noël. (pour maintenant, il est très difficile d'ecrire en français!)

Hello to Kate Slattery as well! Crazyness that I get two notes from my friends big sisters on the same day. Good to hear from you! Mary told me about Ireland. I think that is an awesome opportunity for you. You know you are more than welcome to come visit France, and me, if you get some spare time and 20 euro for the flight! I have a spare bed and I could show you the little bit of this city that I do know.

I will now proceed to try and find a photo booth to get 4 pictures taken in order to give to la prefecture. I should get my long stay visa when I finish with this last part of the application. It will be really nice to finally have it. Gotta run!

Monday, November 28, 2005

Stephenie DiCarlo is engaged!

I just got the email and I was crying like a baby.
I'm losing another friend to marriage! Bah humbug!
*theme song for Havilah today: "Only the Lonely"*

We are still so young, but my word, how the years go by so quickly?

In other news:
France is getting better all the time. I am dying to learn the language so I can speak with everyone, but I am progressing so slowly. What I really need is the French language in musical format. I think I would learn it faster that way. I could just sing it all day, when the kids are gone to school and the parents are at work, and I might even do like Mrs. Fedoryka used to say and listen in my sleep. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be anything like that available to me. he he he my luck sucks.
I have started making French friends, well one at least, his name is Jean Baptiste, but everyone calls him J.B. Absolutely nothing romantic at all, though he is pretty handsome, we are just really kindred spirits. We both love music, travel and meeting strange people. So we get along great and he just loves showing off his city to me. Last night we walked so much. We walked around inside Sacré Heart in Mont Marte, around The tower, along the river, and then past Notre Dame. After all that, we took the metro/walked to his house and I met his mom, and then he drove me to my place and we played with my globe till almost 1 in the morning! Craziness I tell ya craziness. He is just as good as me with names of countries, and even better than me with the country capitals. He is trying to help me learn to speak, but it's weird, because although I don't particularly mind speaking French, poorly, in my classes, I don't like to speak it to him. He is so good in English that it makes me feel so stupid when I am trying to construct my baby sentences in French. He says that I need to try harder, so I will. I need to work on my humility anyways!
Yesterday afternoon, I completely finished unpacking and decorating in my chambre. I am glad to have my own little place away from the family. It is very, very small, but I like the fact that I have somewhere that I can go to when I am done with work, or when I want to have a friend over to hang out.
I want to go home for Christmas break sooooo much, but I think that it will not be worth it really. I won't have ANY money for the whole of Jan. if I spend it on the flights there and back, so I am pretty much resigned to the fact that I am going to spend another Christmas away from home. Sadness. I am now trying to plot what I am going to be doing, but I really don't know what is available yet. Maybe, J.b. will invite me to spend it with him and his family and that might be nice, but I don't want the family to get the wrong idea or anything... blah! I dunno I suppose I really shouldn't care if they think we are going out or not. I mean eventually, they should be able to figure it out just by our body language right? Why am I even thinking this... I guess I just never really had a best friend that was a guy before. Ok, so that is one option or, I could try spending it abroad in another country sightseeing. So the question is: Where is a good place to spend 2 weeks in the middle of winter? Rome? I was thinking that, but I am not sure if I will have enough for the hostels, or even if they are open over Christmas... Throw me some suggestions.

I have to finish ironing now! Whoo hoo I love ironing!

Saturday, November 19, 2005

If I only had a brain!

Ok. No one reads the links apparently, but that's ok! 'Cause when I went back and read it again I realized what a huge mistake I had made anyways!
Ha! The 'sermon' I linked in to my last post was not made by people in the Catholic Lite denomination, but agaisnt them. Yes, I feel like an idiot. I pulled one of my old tricks of skimming the beginning and going for the inards of the argument. So I completely missed the who was arguing against whom part. My bad!
I am actually glad now that my little blog is not very noticible. I would not have wanted to step on the wrong toes and get nasty posts about how stupid I am for making these types of mistakes. lol. I promise I'll be more attentive next time and a little less jugdemental right off the bat.

*Havilah softly whistles to herself* "If I only had a brain!"

Also, Kate cleared me up on my questions, but since next to one else really cares to help me answer them, I am pretty sure that next to no one else cares what the answers are. So, yeah I am not gonna post them today.
By the way, I am really dissapointed that none of my other Ave friends said anything to help me. Bad you !

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Interesting thoughts on catholic baptism.

I was in a Catholic Forum, and I ran across a post on Phillips fast. I wondered what it was about, so I kept reading in that thread. I came to realize that one of the Catholics who was talking about this, was not a Roman Catholic, or any other Catholic that I was familiar with, but instead was something called a Catholic Lite. I had never heard of them! So, like a good, (curious, little, monkey) girl, I Googled "Catholic Lite" to see what they were all about.
(Ok, so I don't know much about them even after I Googled, but I still wanna say this broad generalizing thing about them... No I won't say it, I really want to, but I won't.)
What I do want to talk about is this sermon thing that I found and read:
It says some interesting things about being baptized in the name of Jesus, and not in the Trinity. It says, basically, that Romans Catholics are really bad. Yeah, really bad to have taken Jesus' name out of baptism. It has many, many, excerpts from the Bible and other sources, that reinforce the point it is trying to make.
I was all bristly when I read it first. However, that is normal for me. I always go all bristly and defensive of my Church in Rome. I sometimes like to look at anti-catholic, anti-Rome, literature (propaganda), and then go looking for my own little answers on other Roman Catholic sights. Ok, what bothered me is that I didn't find one this time. It is really bothering me, because something in the verses they quoted is ringing true to my heart.
Look at this one in particular:
Acts 19:4 Then said Paul, John verily baptized with the baptism of repentance, saying unto the people, that they should believe on him which should come after him, that is, on Christ Jesus. 5 When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. 6 And when Paul had laid his hands upon them, the Holy Ghost came on them; and they spake with tongues, and prophesied.
Then all the questions started coming at once and I ran out of patience to look, so I decided to just post them here, and hope that God convinces the answers to find me instead of me having to search them out.
What if we are just missing that little bit?
(Side note: I don't particularly desire the gift of speaking in tongues, but I am really interested in, yearning for, the gift to interpret them.)
Is it possible to have a valid Ordination without a valid Baptism?
I'm pretty sure the answer is no, so then what? Can they be right? It's then logically possible for them to deduce that we are being led astray, and not following God's will. Our Popes would then become invalid wouldn't they? Or is there a loop hole?
What about the whole Baptism of Desire?
Someone has got to tie that one in there for me as well.

I admit that I have read history about bad/evil popes, but I have only known JPII. I felt the Holy Spirit was with him. How about that Baptism of Desire?

That stupid 'sermon' has got me all flustered. I might forward all this jargon to an old Professor or two and see what they have to say, but right now I am looking for other sources. Hey, all you theological people, drop me a line! Please, help me out here.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Some nice things.

God is good.
I am mellow and dramatic at the same time, but God is still good.
I got the keys to the car yesterday. I am so happy. I will no longer have to worry about walking home in the dark from the train station. This is a good thing.
Today, I went singing in front of Notre Dame, and I made 15.43 €, in about an hour. Not bad at all! I will pick a slightly different place to stand tomorrow and see if I can get any better. I am always struck by a desire to thank Mrs. Fedoryka whenever I do well singing. Almost all of the songs I sung today I learned with her. I miss vocal training. I can tell my voice isn't where it was two years ago. I can hear that I have lost a few high notes and that bugs me. If any of you dear Aveites should see her please tell her I love her, miss her, and am eternally grateful to her for all that she has done for me.
Tomorrow I might be joining a Gospel Choir/performing group thingy. A lady in my church gave me a number to call... Time will tell whether or not I have the gumption to dial a French phone number, with out knowing the person on the other end before hand. I might end up asking Bruno or Lydie for help, but I don't want to because they are always helping me so much.
I feel like I am in a constant state of being helped by them. I was agian remined today about how blessed I was in being chosen by their family and not being tricked into another family. In my language class there is a girl about my age, from Poland, who is working for a family with 5 children. (I wouldn't mind that so much if I was still getting all the other nice benefits that I am, but the rest of her situation is appalling.) She has to work at least 10 hrs every day, often 60-65 hrs a week, including Saturday. She doesn't speak French or English only Polish, so she can hardly comunicate with anyone here. She is getting paid beans, a lot less than is the normal rate for au pairs here anyways. She has to live with the family, and she has no mode of transportation other than her feet. Several of the other girls in my class and I are trying to find her a new family to work for, but so far no luck.
How exactly I always end up in such good situations is unknown to me, the only way I can even hope to understand is by thinking of myself as a child closing my eyes tightly as I hold God's hand and he leads me through this world of uncertainty. (That though has come from a thought/prayer by St. Rita, I am not sure where to refer you. I had looked her up recently and that thought stuck out for me. She is an awesome saint.) I am so blessed.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

A diva, Me!

You're Part Diva
You know that a girl's gotta work it to get her way in the world.And while you aren't about to throw a tantrum at every turn...You do amp up the drama when you know you need it.You mix charm, honesty, and kindness to get ahead.
Are You a Diva?

I'm a doll.

Your Inner Retro Girl Is
1950s Doll
What Retro Girl Are You?
That's good, because I look good in red lipstick.


Your Reputation Is: Sweet Girl
While you're well known, there's nothing to worry about.You're reputation is mostly good - as good as any rep can be.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Nice one. I knew I would be an odd Super hero.

Your Superhero Profile
Your Superhero Name is The Duke TorpedoYour Superpower is Distant AttackYour Weakness is Cold WeatherYour Weapon is Your Venomous PitchforkYour Mode of Transportation is Stilts

Sunday, November 06, 2005

An adventure, a longing feeling, a thought on poverty and riches, and 2 top ten lists, some more words,and a game of sorts for my friends and readers!

I had a small adventure coming home from Paris last night. I was waiting in the metro station for my train and I saw this big black fellow ask someone pasing by for a cigarrete. The other guy said no, but I was feeling generous, so I bummed a cigarette to him. He proceeded to try and talk to me in French and I realized that he was really drunk, so I said that I didn't understand French and started to walk away. He said 'oh, English!' And proceeded to try and tell me how beautiful I was and blah blah. I tried to leave, but I found that I wasn't really able to get him to stop trying to speak to me, in his poor english, long enough to say 'ok thanks good bye.' Luckily my train started to pull into the station and I was at the far end of the platform so I said oh this is my train bye, and quickly started to trot towrds the nearest car. Unfortunately, he followed me onto my train. I tried to be nice and make him leave me alone, but he was plastered and didn't get the idea. I sat across from this other guy, who looked very harmless while reading his book, hoping that would deture the drunken guy. It didn't, he sat next to me and I was starting to get freaked. Not badly, but sort of. The guy across from us, not being drunk, noticed that I was having a hard time of it and so he started to talk to me in english and kind of distract the guy. The black guy was supposed to be getting off at Versaille Rd. and the other fellow and I were both getting off before him at La Celle St Cloud. However, when we got off the black guy followed me again. The other guy, named Arnold, offered to escourt me home. I thought that was probably a good idea. He wasn't a very big guy, but I thought it better to have a small, not drunk, white guy walking me home than to walk home alone with a large, semi scary, drunken, black man following me. The black guy stopped following me after a bit, and I got home safe but it was deffinitally a weird experiance. I will be far more careful as to whom I give cigarettes to in the future!

I don't think I will be able to save enough money to go home for Christmass and I am getting all bummed out about it. I don't want to spend another Christmas without people I love. I don't want to be alone in Paris. I would be happy to spend it with my friends in Ireland, except that I have some really bad memories spending last Christmas there with "he who shall not be mentioned" and his family, so I would rather not go to Ireland. I am thinking about going south. Maybe my friend Maria, from Ireland, is going to go home to Spain for Christmas. I might ask to visit her and her family for Christmas. I might try and spend it with another Irish contact named Stephanie in Bretagne, that's in the north west of France. I don't know... Do any of you have ideas as to where I should go. I still owe money to Mel and my mom, so I really can't even think about coming home. (Mel it is coming! I haven't forgotten your kindness in my hour of need. )

I hear that money can be a burden for the soul. Clouding the mind and making it harder to think of God and easier to think about worldly possesions. However, I find that not having any money, ok in my instance I have 5 euro for the rest of the month, is also a burden and draws me away from God. I am always distracted and worrying about paying my bills, student loans, and freinds back. Not to mention worrying semi constantly and being uncomfortable in my social surroundings, because of my clothes. My one pair of jeans that didn't have a whole in the knee, have started to simply become worn out. (Most girls know where jeans wear out the fastest and are next to impossible to patch.) I can't wear them anymore, so I am left with only my 2 pairs of old lady pants to wear. I would really love to buy a new pair of jeans, but I don't have resources to do so. The fact that I am always slightly uncomfortable in my surroundings distracts me from being sweet and social like I would like to be. It also bothers me that when I go to mass I am uncomfortable. I know this is pathetic and vain, but it is a distraction for me and is making it hard for me to concentrate on Jesus and not the people around me. I know others who have greater needs, but this in and of itself doesn't really help me to feel better about being poor. It actually just makes me sadder about the state I am in because I am unable to help them like I want to.

Rhetorical question: Why is it that the people who want to help others are the people least able to do so?

I don't know, I guess I am still young and that there will be plenty of opportunities in the future to help people. Maybe someday I will get rich from singing and will be able to help change the world! Probably not, but hey it's still a nice day dream.

Top ten list of what I would do had I an inexorbitant amount of money:
1.) Pay all debts back for myself. Student loans, medical bills... etc.
2.) Pay all debts back for all my friends. Kate and Lum at the top of the list, but closely followed by many of my friends at Ave who have done their best to follow Gods will and get an education, but in the process have, like myself, become indebted to so many.
3.) Pay all debts back for my parents and siblings. Yes, I put this one after my friends because, my parents have such old debts that their credit is already ruined and it really wouldn't matter if they waited a week or two longer for their money. My friends need it now.
4.) Secure a well insulated, simpley furnished, comfortably spaced, little house where my family can live without worrying about freezing in the winter or having hay bails as a sofa. Yes, we really have done it.
5.) Find out if there is any possibility of getting my father a liver transplant (He has Hepatitis C), my mother some kind of help with her weight problem (maybe a stomach staple?), my brother Peter and sister Jubilee braces, my brother David a completely paid for tuition for the next '4 years at Oxford. So that he doesn't have to leave after a year.
6.) Find some way to help Ave Maria College in Michigan. If nes. I would help them to pay anything they need to pay in order to stay alive for the rest of the time God has Earth spinning, or until the institution becomes corrupt. The later not likely to happen for at least 100 years.
7.) Arrange for a huge shipment of medical supplies and food to be shipped to Calcutta India along with several very carefully selected doctors who would be paid to live and work there for as long as they chose to stay. I would of course want the best most kind hearted people and would of course be willing to pay for whatever they needed.
8.) Donate large sums of money to several religious orders that I know would use the money to further Gods plans.
9.) Donate large sums of money to the Pro-Life movements in America and Europe.
10.) Go work in Calcutta for at least a year, and leave the money to my father to worry about while I was gone.

Top ten things I would be tempted to do if I had inexorbitant amounts of money:
1.) Get lyposuction. He he he It sounds so simple! My bum could be perfect!
2.) Buy lots of beautiful clothes. Nothing vulgar, but some beautiful skirts and blouses and a few pairs of shoes.
3.) Spoil my friends with expensive gifts that I know they don't really need, but would like. Cars, trips to exotic places... etc.
4.) Travel the whole world by myself or with... He he he I won't say who.
5.) Make the side of my barn into a drive in movie theatre and watch more money roll in! The closest theatre to my families home in Wisconsin is a 45 minute drive. Most people near us have to drive even farther. We could make a killing with a drive in right where we are located.
6.) Build Hobbit home in the side of a hill on my farm! Oh so cool.
7.) Have a huge party with lots of food and great musicians. Free for my friends from everywhere. It would be a huge reunion of sorts. I would fly ALL my friends to it! Everyone, Germans, Frenchies, Italians, Irish, Polish, everyone related to Ave, proffessors and their families included, all my long lost friends in Illinois, my parents friends, and those that they have long lost as well, and maybe a few choice people from Wisconsin including Slatterys, Korishs, and most of my brother Davids friends. I would have the beginning last for a month and have different groups arrive at different times so that I was able to se everyone, and then finish it with the huge evening bash.
8.) Find a really good organist/pianist and hire them along with a good bunch of singers to work for my church. Every mass would have good music.
9.) Pay my brother and another to write songs for me to sing and record.
10.) Be lazy and take a few select female friends of mine to a beauty retreat center thingy.

Hahaha I can't stop babbleing in this post. But I think that isn't really unusual. Katie, Louise, Mel, what would you girls do if you had all the money you could ever need or spend? You'd save Ave too, and since its on my list you don't need to put it on your list.

Oooh ooh I have an idea!!!! I say that Kate goes next and writes a list of things she would do with our inexorbitant amount of money. She can leave out Ave and any other things that she would do and I have already said I would do, such as give to pro-life and religious orders, I say that she has to come up with her own ten ways to change her world. But at the bottom of her list she can say which ones of mine she would have also listed had I not listed them first. Then Weezy should go next off of Kates list, then Mel off of Weezies, then Justin off of Mels, then as many people as I can get. I want to know how my friends would change the world they live in to make themselves and those they care about the happiest, healthiest, holiest people ever! Yeah happy thoughts!

Go kate go!
By the way if you are not one of my friends and you happen to have stumbled across my blog I would be happy to know you exist. Please say 'hi' in my comments box and try writing your own ten things. You can post them here if you have no where else to post them! Tell me how the world could be different!

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Wow, I really hope not too many people think of me in this way.

I get very bored, so I take quizzes online to see what I can get. This one was interesting, first I got Sunflower then I went back and the second time through it I got this result:

Victoria/William U dont really belong in this time period, u r a bit
old fashioned, but that makes u cool and

What'>">What name fits you best?
brought to you by No comments: Links to this post

Friday, November 04, 2005

Ok, I'm me again.

Sorry, I didn't mean to be all psycho in that last blog. I had originally written a very nice one and taken alot of time on it too, but it went the way of the Dodo and never made it to your eyes.
My back is healing very quickly and I expect to be able to perform all my favorite dance moves in about a week. I'm still taking some medicine, but less than I was taking and only stuff that I can drink with and not become addicted too. Ha ha ha, that would be perfect! Can you imagine me addicted to pain killers? I would be the coolest addict ever. Joking. I think that I am fairly immune to addictive things of that nature, so you don't need to fear for me.
I would have to say that on the whole most of my friends at Ave find me to be a very pleasent person, probably thinking that I never really had any bad experiences in life, and never really did anything bad either. Get ready for a shock! I have had many very bad experiences outside of my dearest Ave bubble, and I have sinned probably more than any other person ever enrolled at Ave. I've tried it all. I have done it all, and now have proven myself to be the fool my father said I would be, by learning by experience rather than anothers wisdom.
The odd thing, at least I think it is odd, is that I never lose face or my iner self. Not really anyways. Nothing permenantly damaging to my inner charecter ever takes place. I wonder about this. It seems that God gave me just the right amount of childish nature to continually be able to pick my self up again and continue. It has always been that nothing matters but that I do pick myself up and try to finish walking towards Him. However, this line of thought has also been an occasion of sin for me as it leads me to the, ''No matter what I do wrong, God will catch me if I start to fall to fast.'' theory which some times tricks me into committing more sins than if I had not thought about it.
I want to be a good person, really I do. Wait let me correct that and be completely honest. I want to be a saint. A famous and great saint. I want to be able to pull down blessings on to the people that I meet every day. I want to convert the world with in my reach, and I want to reach it all. I suffer from the sin of Pride. Well, sometimes I suffer, but most of the time I actually enjoy my daydreaming of grandure. I would love to be a martyr. Oh, that would be the shit. That would be so easy! One quick, ok possibly long and tortured for days, death in Jesus name. Then He couldn't possibly turn me away could He? The world would love me too. I want that so much. I love the world, so why does it feel like it is ignoring me. Oh wait, it might be because of that Litany of Humility I said back when I was having a devout spell. Hahaha!!!
I know. I know. My delusions of grandure would never work . I know that I will have to just keep plodding along and wait till I die from... you fill in the blank. It wouldn't work because it would be one of those instances of "Doing the right thing for the wrong reason." Why did Elliot have to write it down for the world to recognize!?

I was only joking about being me agian. The truth is that I am always me, but that I choose to show only certain parts of me to certain people. I have friends that don't know I can sing or that I cook. I want it that way. I have friends that think I love drinking, smoking, and partying with loud pop music. I want it that way. I have friends that think I would never go near a party with a ten foot pole. I want it that way. I have friends that think I am simple minded, they might be right, but I still want it that way. I have friends that think I am a religious freak. I want them to think that. I have friends who think I am a very sweet, honest, caring, compassionate, and intelligent enough girl. They might be wrong, but I want them to think these things of me. I have friends in so many places, of so many types, and they all think I am more something in particular than I actually am of my whole. Believe it or not, I am actually quite a bit like, umm, I hate to say it but I have to, Erin W. I am just better at the game.
You may all proceed to question my motives for being so nice now in the past, and so strangly honest to you today. The interesting thingt is that whomever you think I am, I will continue to be to you, so I hope you think of me still as your friend.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

I hurt.

I can't stand it. I just wrote a long narrative blog that laid bare my soul and my fears and what has happend to me during this last week. But is just disapeared. I want to scream. I hurt my back by falling off a horse in the middle of the french countryside. I wanted to die because of the pain. Everyone kept staring I wanted to scream I wanted to be able to make myself stop crying. I took my first ambulance ride. I had multiple x-rays taken. I am able to walk and sit but only like I have a stick up my... I can't sleep. I am in pain. I feel like an idiot. I need my friends. I don't have them. No one cares. No one understands me. I am in pain, I am taking 4 pills every 5 hours or so and I am so fucking pissed. Not that anyone is going to read this today, but no I am not going to apologize for typing fucking. It is pefect for a situation like this one.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Of Mice and Men

So, the best laid plans often fall apart, as was made very evident to me during this week. I am still living with the family. Sleeping in the basement on a futon that makes noises, squeaky ones when ever I roll over in the night, and wakes me often. I was hoping to be in my little apartment by now as I want desperately to put up all my posters and pictures on a wall, and just to actually unpack would be nice as well. However, My ceiling still isn't finished as they didn't buy me the supplies to fix it with till yesterday, and the stuff they bought is questionable at best. (I ask it a lot of questions, but although it sort of looks like the type of thing I need, it really doesn't know what type of life it is supposed to have on the ceiling, and it's directions only speak french.) I was also hoping to have received my drivers license in the mail by now, but I haven't. God bless the Wisconsin D.M.V.!
Yesterday I followed some vague directions, given me by my boss, Bruno, to the American Embassy in Paris. On the way I was asked for Id on the street by a paris cop and told that I had to walk on the other side of the street. Whatever! I went the other half of the block on the other side and then realized that at the end of the block I had been walking on was my elusive Embassy. It was completely surrounded by fences and I watched as a car that drove up was asked to open its hood. I presume to be checked for bombs, or other terroristic thing-a-ma-bobers. Lord help us now! I asked one of the 30 cops standing outside how I was meant to get into my embassy, and he asked me why in a rather suspicious way, and I said. "I got this thing from the French government saying that I had to get my birth certificate translated by my embassy." He informed me that I was at the wrong place entirely and that I needed to go to my Consulate instead. "Oh, ok, where is the American consulate?" "Two blocks straight and then go left." I was now following even more directions to a place that I wasn't sure I needed to be going to. It was actually just as he said, though if it wasn't for the small line outside of foreigners waiting to go in I would have just walked past it. Unlike the embassy it didn't have my flag out front. I got to skip the line, because I am so cute, not! They let all the American go through first just in case they are being chased by monsters, gangsters, or police and need political refuge. I went through the customary half strip search and proceeded to the room I was directed to. Still not knowing if it was the right place. I went inside and saw all the sad people! So many sad people waiting to be "helped" by an official. I stood behind a line as the sign said to do and then was called to the window, where I went and stated my plea for a translated Birth Certificate. The first lady I spoke with was nice, but said that all she could do was give me a list of approved translators. "I said, but the French Prefacture gave me this paper." Handed it to her and was promptly proven to be correct in my coming there, and in being correct, as she could not be incorrect in her statements, concerning her inability to really help me, she said that the French Prefacture was wrong to have sent me there. Yeah, I was thrilled. Then it got better. Her coworker stepped over and said that even if I had a translation of my birth certificate done by one of the approved people on the huge list of names given me, I would still need to have a birth certificate issued with in the last 3 months. She said that the French government demanded this for all of the documents they received. No one in the French Government had told me that! She gave me a stack of more papers. A form to request a new copy of my birth cert., and 10 pages of other, so far as I can tell, useless crap. I promptly left, slightly nauseous with the glooming idea of how many hoops I still had to jump through in order to be a legal au pair for the year.
in other news, complainings, I want to go dancing, but the discos are rumered to be so expensive that I have lost the gumption to even try. I some how managed to leave all my nice clothes at home, or in a van, and every time I am in class I am reminded of how bad I look by the other thinner, smarter, well dressed, foreign girls who have that foreign girl walk down perfectly. I have one prospect of a real friend. She is Hungarian, though her passport says she is Romanian. You'll have to look up the reason for that one all on your own. Some stupid treaty that mangled her real country and divided it between it's neighbors. I have tenativcely joined a group of Catholic evangelists, who ask silly questions about how to show this or that about the Faith to each other and maybe even somebody of a different faith. I was asked a total of 3 questions and I aced the first two; One was something about how do I reconcile the fact that Jesus was man and God. Oh, so hard, not really, but they seemed to be having difficulty thinking and were amazed by the simplicity of my answer that: "He had to be both or the whole thing wouldn't work". I tried to explain my thoughts on the old testiment sacraficial killings, and the fullfilment of the covenant, the institution of the eucharist, but I think they lost something in the translations. The second was my age. I knew that one. But the third was how can I believe in God, prove to others the existanc of God when so many terrible things happen in this world. One of the ladies was having a crisees of faith as her neighbors son just died and he was so young. I really couldn't say much, I told her that I had lost my neice, and that I was sorry for her I knew aht it felt like, and I refered her to "The Problem of Pain" by C.S. Lewis. They think I am a genious or something and I feel like a prick for feeling superior to them. They, like so many others, have not had a Catholic education. Sorry this is so long. I think it's fairly interesting though...

Monday, October 17, 2005

How fun is that.

Your Kissing Purity Score: 31% Pure
You're not one to kiss and tell...
But word is, you kiss pretty well.
Kissing Purity Test

I wish I was friends with an ex so that I could ask... I spurned 'em all so that probably wouldn't be a good idea...

Sunday, October 16, 2005

J'abite à Paris, well close enough anyway to claim it.

I suppose the wide world of bloggers and blog readers might want to know alittle about me. Curiosity and all that. Well, I am the fourth child in a family of eight. I have five brothers and two sisters. My family used to live in LaGrange, Illinois, but when I was eleven we all moved up to/near Ettrick Wisconsin. It was really quite a difference in habitates.
LaGrange, is a suburb of Chicago and has a monsterous population, all the conveniance stores you could want, a 24hr. Walgreens(for when you daughter gets an earache and wants the bubble gum flavored madicine), a movie theatre, a constantly expanding library, at least three different catholic churches with large and slightly less than pius congregations, and schools that most people just make their children walk to.
Ettrick, on the other hand, has a total population of aprox. 520 people, a gas station that serves as a conveniance store(it rents videos, and sells diapers, ice cream and jerky), a tiny little library that is part of the elementary schools building, no pharmacy, no theatre, & a very small Catholic church with an even smaller congregation (made of some very earnest catholics but most ignorant of what it means to be a Catholic), and at least 5 bars where you can find most of the town residents at all hours of the day. Everday.
Ettrick is a farming communities town. A place where after morning chores, while still clad in manure spotted clothes, the old farmers will congregate at The gas station, filling the 5 little tables/booths, to drink coffee and talk about the lack of rain this summer and whether the price of corn will sky rocket becouse of it.
My family, well technically my two little sisters and I, own a farm located 4.2 miles outside of town. ... I will have to finish more of this later, my boss lady is home now and I want to show her the new curtain I made for my little apartment to her stamp of approval.

Saturday, October 15, 2005


Are you, or have you ever been, a Literature Abuser?
Literature Abuse: How many of these apply to you?
1. I have read fiction when I was depressed or to cheer myself up.
2. I have gone on reading binges of an entire book or more in a day.
3. I read rapidly, often "gulping" chapters.
4. I have sometimes read early in the morning or before work.
5. I have hidden books in different places to sneak a chapter without being seen.
6. Sometimes I avoid friends or family obligations in order to read novels.
7. Sometimes I rewrite film or television dialog as the characters speak.
8. I am unable to enjoy myself with others unless there is a book nearby.
9. At a party, I will often slip off unnoticed to read.
10. Reading has made me seek haunts and companions that I would otherwise avoid.
11. I have neglected personal hygiene or household chores until I have finished a novel.
12. I have spent money meant for necessities on books instead.
13. I have attempted to check out more library books than permitted.
14. Most of my friends are heavy fiction readers.
15. I have sometimes passed out from a night of heavy reading.
16. I have suffered blackouts or memory loss from a bout of reading.
17. I have wept or become angry or irrational because of something I read.
18. I have sometimes wished I did not read so much.
19. Sometimes I think my reading is out of control.
If you answered yes to three or more of these questions, you may be a literature addict. An affirmative response to five or more indicates a serious problem. Once a relatively rare disorder, Literature Abuse, or LA, has risen to new levels due to the accessibility of higher education and increased college enrollment since the end of the Second World War. The number of literature abusers is currently at record levels.
SOCIAL COSTS OF LITERARY ABUSE Abusers become withdrawn, uninterested in society or normal relationships. They fantasize, creating alternative worlds to occupy, to the neglect of friends and family. In severe cases they develop bad posture from reading in awkward positions or carrying heavy book bags. In the worst instances, they become cranky reference librarians in small towns. Excessive reading during pregnancy is perhaps the number one cause of moral deformity among the children of English professors and teachers of English and creative writing. Known as Fetal Fiction Syndrome, this disease also leaves its victims prone to lifetime of nearsightedness, daydreaming, and emotional instability.
HEREDITY Recent Harvard studies have established that heredity plays a considerable role in determining whether a person will become an abuser of literature. Most abusers have at least one parent who abused literature, often beginning at an early age and progressing into adulthood. Many spouses of an abuser become abusers themselves. OTHER PREDISPOSING
FACTORS Fathers or mothers who are English teachers, professors, or heavy fiction readers; parents who do not encourage children to play Nintendo, participate in healthy sports, or watch television in the evening.
PREVENTION Premarital screening and counseling, referral to adoption agencies in order to break the chain of abuse. English teachers in particular should seek partners active in other fields. Children should be encouraged to seek physical activity and to avoid isolation and morbid introspection.
DECLINE AND FALL: THE ENGLISH MAJOR Within the sordid world of literature abuse, the lowest circle belongs to those sufferers who have thrown their lives and hopes away to study literature in our colleges. Parents should look for signs that their children are taking the wrong path. Don't expect your teenager to approach you and say, "I can't stop reading Spenser." By the time you visit her dorm room and find the secret stash of the Paris Review, it may already be too late.
What to do if you suspect your child is becoming an English major:
1. Talk to your child in a loving way. Show your concern. Let them know you won't abandon them but that you aren't spending a hundred grand to put them through Stanford so they can clerk at Waldenbooks either. But remember that they may not be able to make a decision without help; perhaps they have just finished Madame Bovary and are dying of arsenic poisoning.
2. Face the issue. Tell them what you know, and how: "I found this book in your purse. How long has this been going on?" Ask the hard question: What was Dante really portraying in this cirle?
3. Show them another way. Move the television set into their room. Introduce them to frat boys.
4. Do what you have to do! Tear up their library card. Make them stop signing their letters as "Emma." Force them to take a math class or minor in Spanish. Transfer them to a Florida college.
You may be dealing with a life-threatening problem if one or more of the following applies: * They name one or more of their cats after a Romantic poet. * Next to their bed is a picture of Lord Byron, Virginia Woolf, William Faulkner, or any scene from the Lake District.
Most importantly, remember, you are not alone. To seek help for yourself or someone you love, contact the nearest chapter of the American Literature Abuse Society, or look under ALAS in your local phone directory.

Friday, October 14, 2005

My first post.

I did it. I went and made myself a blog. Here it is! Now all I have to do is write in it. That could prove to be harder than one might think as I have an aversion to writing and a tendency towards babbling. i am the type of person that would much rather have a conversation with someone than exchange emails with them. (I love to hear things. I think that's how I learn. Don't get me wrong and think that I don't love to read, I do, it's just that I do that to activate a different part of my brain. The part that likes to be fed personal and solitary fun. I read to be in another world, for pure enjoyment and never to learn anything. Unless, that is I am particularaly searching for something that can no longer be found in words said, but only in words written. Then I suppose I do read for the sake of learning.)