Tuesday, November 01, 2005

I hurt.

I can't stand it. I just wrote a long narrative blog that laid bare my soul and my fears and what has happend to me during this last week. But is just disapeared. I want to scream. I hurt my back by falling off a horse in the middle of the french countryside. I wanted to die because of the pain. Everyone kept staring I wanted to scream I wanted to be able to make myself stop crying. I took my first ambulance ride. I had multiple x-rays taken. I am able to walk and sit but only like I have a stick up my... I can't sleep. I am in pain. I feel like an idiot. I need my friends. I don't have them. No one cares. No one understands me. I am in pain, I am taking 4 pills every 5 hours or so and I am so fucking pissed. Not that anyone is going to read this today, but no I am not going to apologize for typing fucking. It is pefect for a situation like this one.


Kate said...

Hava - I read everything you write, I swear. I don't comment - I haven't had anything to say - but I read it all. You should know that. Call me! Or give me your phone number and I'll buy a phone card and call you. Are you ok? Is the pain related to the unexplained pain you had in the summer? I'm very concerned! Call me, dammit!

Louise said...

I, like Mrs. Kate, read everything you write. I love you! I wish I could hold your hand and feed you hot soup!