Pictures of the kids and I.

What can I say.... I see this face alot. Lol










Hé hé hé
Laure is such a lady. She wears a skirt on our nature hikes, and fixes her wedgies every 5 minutes.















I don't think it is possible to find a serious picture of Laure and I, but then do you really want one?











They act all sweet.
















But then they try and push you into the lake.











Sometimes we go for walks in the little forrest behind the house. Usually it is fun, but sometimes Laure screams for an hour before she actually starts walking. Such was the case yesterday.

We all survived though.

What I am not going to do.

1.) I am not going to talk to my blog audiance about being confused.
2.) I am not going to tell my blog audiance that my heart hurts.
3.) I am not going to lean on anyone.
4.) I am not going to ask for help.
5.) I am not going to cry infront of anyone.

Instead I am going to be cheerful! I am going to make you all look at pictures of... ummm... lets see what I can find here on Google... oh yeah! Great White Sharks! Today, you will all look at pictures of Great White Sharks!

Sharks are cool.

Today I am going to think about how cool sharks are and not about how

I am not good enough.

Enjoy the sharks, my peoples!

If you never heard of the Air Jaws, and Air Jaws 2. You are missing out on the coolest jumping sharks ever!

*Song for today: Feelin' the Same Way, By: Nora Jones*

The sun just slipped its note below my door

And I can't hide beneath my sheets

I've read the words before so now I know

The time has come again for me

And I'm feelin' the same way all over again

Feelin' the same way all over again

Singin' the same lines all over again

No matter how much I pretend

Another day that I can't find my head

My feet don't look like they're my own

I'll try and find the floor below to stand

And I hope I reach it once again

And I'm feelin' the same way

So many times I wonder where I've gone

And how I found my way back in

I look around awhile for something lost

Maybe I'll find it in the end

And I'm feelin' the same way...

HA HA, the time has come!

Yes, the time has come, my little friends, to talk of other things!

Of shoes and ships and ceiling wax, and cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot, and weather pigs have wings! CULOO, CULAAY, come run away! ''Where there's cabbages and kings!''


The Walrus and the Carpenter had the right idea. Well, the Walrus did anyways.


I love Sundays! I get to be lazy!

Happy Birthday Eva Cassidy

"It is an Eva Cassidy day." I said to myself as I walked home from dropping the girls off at school.

I had to hear her today or I would die of want. So, when I got home I bemoaned the loss of the excellent CD given to me by Paul, and then proceeded to utilize "Limewire" in a slightly less than legal way. I also, out of pure curiosity, decided to look up her history online. I was moved to tears by her life and slightly surprised to find that today is actually the anniversary of her birth. Thus the title of this entry.

Today I charge all of you to the task of listening to just one of her songs. (The link I just provided only has partials, you need to listen to a whole song. Just use Limewire ok? You won't regret it.) She is unrivaled in my mind as the most soulful female singer ever. She was not a song writer, but a song interpreter, and she did that to its fullest capabilities. She performed all of the back up vocals and harmonies for her versions as well.

Though I am a great fan of originality and every one of the songs that she has recorded were written and sung by someone else first, I would still rather hear her sing them, with her soul and haunting movement of voice, than hear any other version available. She could read in to the song, better even sometimes than the original. For a perfect example I will say listen to Sting performing their "Fields of Gold", and then listen to Eva and how she felt it. (Years later, after her death, a t.v. reporter, who was a fan of hers and happened to be interviewing the lead singer of Sting got him to listen to her singing this song, and he was moved to tears. It was his song, he was fiercely territorial of it, but he immediately recognized that she had perfected what he had intended to say with it.

Here is a small list of my favorite songs sung by the beautiful voice of Eva Cassidy:

Fields of Gold
You take my Breath Away
Time after Time
Songbird
I Know you by Heart
Autumn Leaves
Wade in the Water
Heaven


If you want to feel Love listen to: "You Take My Breath Away", "I know You By Heart" and "Fields of Gold". They make your inside ache.


Eva Marie Cassidy was born on February 2nd, 1963, and left this earth on November 2nd, 1996.

The last of a family name

My mothers maiden name is Richardson. Her mothers maiden name was Beron.

Today I received a letter from my mammy saying that her aunt Mildred has died. That would make it my great aunt Millie who is now sleeping 6' under. I never met her, but I wish I had. I had spoken with her on the telephone on several occasions. She was a very kind soul. Thoughtful and remembering to the last. She always sent birthday and Christmas cards, and called my mom at least twice a year just to check up on her. She was 94 years old. I never once sent her a christmas or birthday card. Now it is too late. Regret is bitter.

Great aunt Mildred was the last person in my grand mothers family. The last name of the Beron family has now died off on that branch. No one had any sons, only daughters, lots of daughters... Kinda sad isn't it? Another thing that I think sad is that not only was my mothers mom one of the last to carry a family name to its grave, so also will be my own mammy. (Well, that is if I don't find some magic elixer of life and give it to her. Which I still have great hopes of doing before anything should happen to her.) She has only one sister, and only female cousins, so... yeah there goes another branch of that family name.

I can only imagine how it must feel to be the last carrier of a family name. (Yes, I do of course realise that the names of Beron and Richardson have not died completely, but you get the idea.)

As i have 5 brothers, and I highly doubt that they will all live celibate lives, or are living... I will never have to worry about my last name dieing. that is a comfort. I am kind of attached to it. Although, technically it is really only a given last name. I'll explain more on that another day, but to sum it all up for you :
My great grandfather was left on a doorstep of a family who had the last name of Krupp. They liked him, so they kept him. (Musta been a cute baby.) Anywho, Krupp was changed to Krump somewhere in America shortly after his arrival. Apparently the powers that were thought that it needed to be less German and more American. Go figure that one. Add an "M" and drop a "P", bod-a-bing-bod-a-boom your more American.

It was something to write. It is something I don't want to forget. I hope you can spare a prayer for my great aunt Millie.

Last notes:
It seems to be that whenever my mom does send me news in the mail it is always regarding a death. For example, my Christmas card detailed the death of my dog, Maggie, and also the death of a baby chicken. Cheerful no?

Oh, and apparently death does not just happen in America. My beautiful room mate and fast found friend has died as well. She went to her sewery grave last Thursday with much weeping and wailing on my part, and snickers over the phone from Jb. Men, they never quite understand.

Rest in Peace Aunt Mildred Beron-Hanrahan, and Miss Arabella Poisson. You are missed!

Thoughts I have after trying to run for an hour , aka "I know Mare and she knows me!"

I need bigger lungs, smaller boobs, new shoes, and better music.

Mary Brigid is a shrewd girl who always seems to say the wrong thing right before she hits the nail on the head. She is great for that!

Everything is good. I am able to figure out what I want. I can do it, have it, achieve it, and practice it. Woo hoo. My problems are never as bad as I think they are. I am often too melodramatic when concerning my inner turmoils.

I really need to thank everyone who was so good as to pray for me, and or drop me an encouraging note in the last two weeks. Thanks everyone.

Mention that I was cleaning out my emails earlier today and I came across a really old one in which I was summing up a homily of father Pats to a friend. (I ended up deleting the email and just saving the following excerpt)

..."portraying your happiness to God by being good to the people around you. And how when we know that Christ has gone to heaven in order that he might prepare a place for us in his kingdom, then we should not worry about earthly things, but be more concerned about building up a treasure of heavenly valuables. I especialy liked the priests personal interjections about how we are called to be smiling all of the time, because we know that our names are written in "The Book of Life", and that we are just passing through, during our life on earth, as we head to our home in heaven."

Yes, I realise that there are many gramatical errors in that quotation, but I really don't feel like changing it . You may all feel free to edit it in your own minds. You may add periods, remove commas, and personalize the message to fit you... etc

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Ohh! Funnies!

While I have actually been in a better mood I still felt like searching for some demotivators. He he he. I dunno! I am just a weird person. Here you go, I hope you enjoy them:



We'll start with a pearl of wisdom.













Then question why it is that people always feel they have to be the best in everything, instead of just enjoying being "sort of able" to do something. I can be content with "sort of able"








Thirdly, lets all think of how silly penguins are, but how everyone likes them just as they are. At least I have never met a person who didn't like them. Have you?










Now, remember what life was like before you knew anything about science.
I know I tried to find the end of a rainbow more than once before I got my first science book.










Next we'll contemplate how it is indeed possible for someone to feel lonely when they are on a metro with 200 other people.










And finally, lets all ponder what the future has in store for us.

By:Damian Rice

Cold, cold water surrounds me now
And all I've got is your hand
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now,
Or am I lost?

No one's daughter allow me that
And I can't let go of your hand
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
or am I lost?

Don’t you know I love you
And I always have
Hallelujah
Will you come with me?

Cold, cold water surrounds me now
And all I've got is your hand
Lord, can you hear me?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me?

Ahh...Am I lost with you?
Am I lost with you?
Am I lost with you?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You are all required to find this song and listen to it. It is... perfect for now.

A "what the fudge, God!?!" day

I give up.

I am so sad today that it is not even possible to discribe for you. Everything is turning out so different to what I had thought God had wanted for me. Probably because I strayed from His path to far, but still... I am having a "What the fudge, God!?!" day.

I desperatley need a friend that can understand what I am talking about, but unfortunatly I have no money to call the few who would understand, and I am unable to post the problems here. I just don't want everybody to have to hear me complain. My "bestest few" I want to talk to, but just the few who can deal me the truth that I need to hear.

Peoples who care. Please show yourselves. I need prayers bad right now.

I miss my friends. You are all so far away now. No one to play with my hair, or make me dance to songs under flourescent lights, no one to dance with at all in fact. No one to walk to the Mudd House with in a blizzard, or smoke cigarettes with in a ball park shed. No one to go to Frog Island with, or down near the river for an underage drink. No one to help me see Gods plan. No one.
I am going to have to get a cig. tonight!

O my gosh!

Did Jesus exist? Italian court to decide

By Phil StewartROME (Reuters) -

Forget the U.S. debate over intelligent design versus evolution.
An Italian court is tackling Jesus -- and whether the Roman Catholic Church may be breaking the law by teaching that he existed 2,000 years ago.
The case pits against each other two men in their 70s, who are from the same central Italian town and even went to the same seminary school in their teenage years. The defendant, Enrico Righi, went on to become a priest writing for the parish newspaper. The plaintiff, Luigi Cascioli, became a vocal atheist who, after years of legal wrangling, is set to get his day in court later this month.

"I started this lawsuit because I wanted to deal the final blow against the Church, the bearer of obscurantism and regression," Cascioli told Reuters.

Cascioli says Righi, and by extension the whole Church, broke two Italian laws. The first is "Abuso di Credulita Popolare" (Abuse of Popular Belief) meant to protect people against being swindled or conned. The second crime, he says, is "Sostituzione di Persona", or impersonation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow, that dude must be really angry. What does he actually hope to accomplish with this lawsuit I wonder? People who believe are still going to believe. They aren't going to change their mind, just because one judge in Italy says that Jesus can not be proven to exist, in a court of law. What a silly thing to waste your time on.

Vibes

I have this odd sense of foreboding. I have been having nightmares about horrible things happening to my family for the last several nights. The dreams have been so bad that I have woken in freight from them screaming "Stop it Mom!!!", and on the following night "Stop it Peter"... This is not like me. I sleep like the dead. Also, I have never been told that I talk in my sleep before, but the other night I fell asleep at Jb's place, (we were watching movies too late,) and he told me that I was talking in my sleep. He couldn't make out what I was saying, but then I can understand the situation. I mean Wisconsin english, muttered by an over exhausted girl, can be a little hard to catch. I've tried with my sister Jubilee before. It was hopeless. All the same, I wish he did catch it. What was I saying?!

Anywho, I called my mom today for a moment to thank her for the (now sour) eggnog, that she sent to me in the mail for Christmas, and see if I could catch any queer vibes from her. Happily I discovered, that no, there is nothing that interesting or extreme going on at home. Just the usual sort of chaos and pandemonium. Gump and Bean came home for a visit, Pop has started to atempt to write a book about his mathematics, and no new calves have been born that I must name. 'Please call back next week after "So-'n-so" the cow has her baby, we will need you then.' I finished the call in 12 minutes and am so far pleased that nothing is happening at home in WI. So, I will in a few minutes, be attempting to call Gabe and Pider down in Texas to se if there is anything going on there. I don't really expect to find anything, I am just doing it to feel better really. Much is the same reason why I am writing it all down here this evening. I just want to make them stop so that I can get some sleep. I love sleep. Sleep has always been my friend, why is it being so mean to me now?

Oh, and of the beat entirely: I had originally meant to devote this blog to the film I saw this weekend, Lord of War, which I found to be extremely well done, but I am to tired to do it justice today. Perhaps tomorrow I will blog about that. In the mean time I suggest that everyone look at the reviews for this film. They aren't lying, it is in a class of it's own. Funny, sad, enlightening, cruel, honest, heart wrenching at moments, and brutal all at the same time. You can hardly decide who you want to see succeed. I am not a big fan of Nicholas Cage, but I found him absolutely perfect for his role. If I believed in reincarnation, I would say that this character was him in another life.

Blah! I am going to try calling Pider and Gabe now. They are generally happy fellows they should be able to cheer me up.


CCR
Have You Ever Seen The Rain?
Someone told me long ago:
There’s a calm before the storm,
I know;
it’s been comin’ for some time.

When it’s over, so they say,
it’ll rain a sunny day,
I know;
shinin’ down like water.

What I want to know,
is have you ever seen the rain?
I want to know,
have you ever seen the rain
comin’ down on a sunny day?

Yesterday, and days before,
sun is cold and rain is hard,
I know; been that way for all my time.

’til forever, on it goes
through the circle, fast and slow,
I know;
it can’t stop, I wonder.

But, I want to know,
have you ever seen the rain?
I want to know,
have you ever seen the rain
comin’ down on a sunny day?

Yeah!,

I want to know,
have you ever seen the rain?
I want to know,
have you ever seen the rain
comin’ down on a sunny day?

Seeing the change

I posted the following messege in reply to Scherzos last blog. I thought it was worth sharing, but if you want the whole picture you will have to visit her blog: http://scherzo5586.blogspot.com/

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Bunnydette,
I too know how you feel. Like it is still your family, but no longer the source of all your joy as you remember it was, or hope that it always will be. I know how painful it is to see your brothers in limbo, and still have all those wonderful memories of innocence and happiness with them.

I too am often leaving and moving from place to place, so I also see the differences more profoundly than those who stay at home. I often wish that I was able to take a larger part in the forming of my siblings. I wish that my parents were the exact same people they were when I was growing up.

They are different now, more patient, less enthusiastic one might say. Still wonderful people and great parents, but just not the same. Thus, my younger siblings will not be made in the same sort of mold as my older brothers and I were made in. It's like making making a huge batch of cookie dough, and baking the first half at 370°F for 8-10 minutes, then refridgerated the second half for a week and baking that dough at 350°F for 10-12 minutes.

*If you have no idea what I am talking about, feel free to ignore the cookie reference. My mom just sent me cookies in the mail, and because I am on a diet I haven't eaten them yet, so they are constantly on my mind... damned things!*

Sadness comes when you realize that you have lost the old person/s you loved to play, climb, sing, splash in the mud with, and fight with over the last bit of ice cream, to a person who somehow has become mature and willing to give you the last bit of ice cream. That is when you know you have lost them to adulthood.

During the rebellioususus stage they are still your little brothers, they are just not sure who they are going to be soon. That is what I think is so upsetting. You see that they are not quite as happy as you all used to be, but you are unable to use the old means of having fun to make them happy anymore. They have left all the innocent ways of being happy behind in favor of promises of happiness for the future. It may be a wonderful future, but there is no way to know till the change is complete.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Growing up is the hardest thing in the world to do. I am struggling with it everyday. I never want to stop seeing the world as a child sees it. I want to be amazed by twinklie lights every year when Christmas time draws near, I want to always look up at things when I am walking, and I want to always expect the best from people. It is just really hard sometimes to know the world and see it for what it is, but also retain inocence.

Everyone hates change. We are designed to go through it, but still we hate it. It's one of those definite things about living. We are born, we chang a lot, and then we die. There is nothing we can do about it really. However, that doesn't mean we are not allowed to miss the past. I do, quite often really...

*Song for today:
"Runaway Train"*

"Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

Everything is cut and dry
Day and night,
earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it"

Replies to people who have commented previously on my blog.

Katherine,
It is to fair that I got the New Year 6 hrs before you as I lost those 6 hours when I flew here. So there! :^~
I dunno what my summer is gonna look like yet. I will def touch base back in the states for a bit, but I can't say when or for how long at this point in time. Sorry about that. I'd love to be able to see you and Megen too if at all possible. It's been over two years now hasn't it? Would you both please send me an email so I have your current addresses? Thanks pretty ladies!

Tom,
I knew you weren't human a long time ago! Good thing to, as the world is too full of humans. Not enough ancient wisdom is what I say. Ents are awesome. Nice of you to stop by!

Cola,
It is possible that we could be cousins. (I have so many that I have lost track!) Hey, we both chose birds for adopted pets. Cool! I like your Quackie. S/He is a nice color. I adopted a penguin and named him Tuxie and then I adopted a friend for him and named her Silver. I can't get the stupid links to work though. How did you get yours to work?

Lauren,
I admit to Goldfish neglect. I have just been calling her miss fish! I think that Arabella is a beautiful name for her, and I will commence with name recognition training tomorrow morning at feeding time. In a couple of months she should know her own name right? My American fish Mr. Bubbles learned his name in 2 months., but my Irish Fish Jack and Jill McGill never seemed to learn their names, and I had them for 7 months... Funny creatures, Goldfish.

I'll reply to more later... very tired now as it is 1 am my time.

Good night all!

Good pictures are sometimes better than words.

"The Normandy American Cemetery and Memorial, operated by the American Battle Monuments Commission, is located at Colleville-sur-Mer, France on a cliff overlooking Omaha Beach. 9,386 servicemen and women, of which 307 are unknown, are buried in ten grave plots. The names of 1,557 soldiers missing in action are also listed." http://www.sproe.com/n/Normandy-cemetery.html











The ceiling of that little chapel, in the middle of the cemetery, has:


Lady Marianne comforting the dead




and,





Lady Liberty Encouraging the living










The Germans idea of a Hobbit hole.





Don't I look tiny next to it?







The sunset on a beach in Normandy











Don't see her like this often.











Foggy Tour, makes me think of a light house.











Spooky!


The Ring? No, it's just me with semi-straightened hair. Semi because I did it on the most humid night available. Boy, am I brilliant or what?






Ooohh! It has twinklie lights too!










Some church I went to for Christmas Mass










A pyramid not found in Egypt











A better picture of my favorite geek. Who took most of these great pictures and then spent about an hour sending them to me through msn messenger. Some fella!

Lobster for Christmas

What's the difference between a French Christmas and an American one?

(Besides the fact that they call it Noël and we call it Christmas.)

Liver paste for a starter and not cranberry sauce, raw oysters and huge lobsters as opposed to huge turkey and honey baked ham, Christmas cake from a famous bakery and not homemade pumpkin pie, and no mashed potatoes! Yeah, that is what is different.

Christmas was wonderful. It was so much better than I thought it would be. I had secretly been dreading the thought of spending another awkwardChristmass with another foreign family. However, I had also known that if I didn't spend it with someone who was happy then I would be unhappy for weeks afterwards.

So, I spent the day with Jb and his family and all I can say is that they are an awesome bunch of people. Even though I am pretty much unable to communicate with them in their own language, and I don't have any funny stories about the past like they do, I still felt like they wanted me to be included in the fun. They gave me presents for cripes sake! I wasn't expecting that at all. I felt kind of silly because all I had gotten for them was a box of chocolates. (They were really nice chocolates, but still if I had known, things would have been different!)

*Mental note to self: Don't believe Jb, next time he tells me that all I need to bring is chocolates.

There was so much chocolate given and received in the form of gifts that you could probably kill 25- 30 dogs with it. (If you were really mean, and or liked killing dogs. Which by the way I am not predisposed to doing, unless they are eating the chicken on my families farm, then I am.) Two huge, oh, wait let me make that, HUGE, jars of Nutella were given, as well as multiple boxes of various chocolate. Hmmm...I think perhaps the family has an addiction? I like them even more now.

Anywho, it was an awesome time and I am glad that I was able to spend it with such great people.

In other news:
Life is still good and I am glad that I am on vacation still. I have been sleeping till all hours of the day/afternoon, and I love it! He he he, sleep is great.
I talked to my Pop and two little sisters today on the phone as well as Mrs. Slattery and Colleen for a bit. I just kept babbling on and on, so I think perhaps they think I am insane, but I don't mind.
I also got a phone call from my very good friend Ewa this evening! I haven't heard her voice in 6-7 months so I was super surprised when she called me, out of the blue. Actually, I was even more surprised by the call 'cause I was in the bath. I didn'trecognizee her voice at first and she thought that was funny. I felt like a fool.
Nothing new there though, as I am almost daily participating in a situation of feeling not as smart as I usually do, because Jb is smarter than me and I find that is weird.
I got an invitationn from aunt Bethany to come out and see her and uncle Dave this summer when I am home in the states and I think that would be really fun to do. I feel fairly distant from all of my aunts and uncles, and cousins, and what have you. It will be nice to get to know a little more about the Krump blood.

I'm gonna go watch Ushuaïa with Jb now. Its a nature show kind of like a National Geographic type deal. Very cool if I do say so myself! It goes all over the world and into the most beautiful and exotic places.

By the way: Yes, I do realize that I have been a very bad blogger of late, but as there is no way that any of you can punish me for my lack of words, (as Nelson of The Simpsons says,) "Ha ha!"

P.s Thank you to all my many friends for visiting me here and saying hello. However, if another person who has been a real part of my past asks me if I remember them I am going to screem! Of course I remember you! As the saying goes: "Elephants never forget!" I'm glad you are doing ok Meg. Write me a real email sometime won't you?

Happy, belated, Christmas everybody! Have a wonderful New Year!

Well, I am a human still, but that is cool.

Rohirrim

To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
brought to you by

Two pictures I just stole from Bernadettes blog!

Bad Bernadette! How could you post them before you even sent them to me! Now I have had to steal them from your blog in order to put them on mine! The things I have to go through just to get pictures from people with digital cameras! Hrmph. I tell ya, hardship is not having a camera myself.





Anywho, here is a nice blurry one that Jb took of Bernadette and I being dramatic infront of my favorite tower. Yes, I see her every, single, day! But I still think she is beautiful!














Yeah, I think she has only bad pictures. Ha ha ha, we look pathetic! But there you go world! Now you know what Jb looks like. Bernadette and I decided that he kind of looks like a Bratz doll. after note, this picture was taken moments before I fell down the stairs in LaFayette Shopping centre. Stupid skirts!

Miss Fish

I think it is a she. Well, I want it to be a she anyways. I'm not sure what to name her yet. She is a medium sized fish and she is really a yellowy gold color, not an orangey/redish gold at all. A very pretty fish, if I do say so myself. I bought her last night and then took her with me to eat a crepe and watch a movie. Hey, I'm not weird, it's just that no one else was available for hang out time! My hungarian friends were babysitting, Jb was going to a different movie with other friends, Matt was studying... etc. And I really wanted to see the film before it left the theatre, so I went with my gold fish. By the by she didn't seem too scared of "The Exocism of Emily Rose",even though I was a bit freaked out. Well, it is just that I have seen too much is all, and the fact that I had to take the last train out of Paris by myself at 12:45 am just after seeing it didn't help my over active imagination/guilty conscience trip. Anywho, I was glad Miss Fish was with me, for the comfort of being able to be concerned about her. Transcending my fears and worrying about a fish... is that normal? I don't know.

If anyone has any suggestions for naming her, plaese share.

I was late for work this morning. Which sucks. Bad me. I dropped my phone in Paris and the battery popped out, so I had to reset the time and when I was doing that I forgot to reset my alarm, so I was late. I really need to check to see if my brain is logged on sometimes. It was only the first time, and Chelsea was here, so I hope that Lydie isn't going too be to upset with me when I see her tonight. Ugh. Nobody likes to be yelled at.

One more thing:

I actually got those Disneyland pics up now, they are just after errr...before my last post about Mel and Justin. I forgot to change the date from the saved date to the current date. My bad.

Have a happy fishy day!

A gold ring, a lone girl, a visitor or 5, and a gold fish.

Melissa Vanvorde and Justin Enfield are engaged!

Oh, soo cool! They are an awesome couple and I am happy for them both. I knew them both before they even liked each other. Individaully cool, but absolutely awesome as a couple. Their kids are going to have the best senses of humer ever!

So, I seem to be one of the few that escaped Ave Maria without getting engaged. Mwah ha ha ha! Wait, is that a good thing? I dunno, I suppose that if I was meant to love someone there then I would, so it must be a good thing, otherwise I would be in a bad situation. So, my being "Oh, soo single" is really a good thing, it just means that I still have to wait till "he" figures out what God wants.

*"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming"...Oops, I mean: waiting. Yes, that's better. "Just keep waiting, just keep waiting..."*

No big deal. I can handle being alone... As long as I have a friend or two to bide my time with. Wait, I guess that means that I can't really handle being alone. Noo! I am not one of those people am I? No, I can't be, because if I have a book, or a computer to interact with then I can be alone no problem. Ok. So, maybe I am a little bit of a needy person. But so what? Lots of people are. No big deal, right? I mean there are people that are worse than me. They are the clingy ones. Eeew gross: Clingons. :)

So, in other news: This past week has been pretty interesting.

Marissa M., dropped by last, Saturday night, no I mean the one before that, with two other Ave Florida girls. They stayed at my place on sat. night and left for Gaming again on Sunday morning. I enjoyed having them over. They took some good pictures, and I am still waiting for them to email some to me so that I can post 'em up here.

Last Friday, 4 days ago, Angels little sister, Bernadette, stopped by as well. At first it was kind of weird, because we had never really hung out before. I guess I was just expecting her to be like Angel, but of course she is her own being, and anyways how could the world have two Angels! It wouldn't be able to handle them. I turns out that we get along really well and she stayed till Sunday night; We had a few little adventures, thanks mostly to J.b., but I also had a small hand in it. For instance,at my urging, we sneaked/snook into The Louvre on Saturday evening just before it closed. Mona Lisa for free.

On Saturday afternoon, while dragging Bernadette with me, I met up with an old friend of mine from Ireland, Stephanie. She is French, but from the west, and she was in Paris to visit some of her other friends that have moved here. It was good to see her, we haven't seen each other in 6 months. However, she was very preoccupied, with finding a sweater for a party that she was attending that evening, so it wasn't exactly what I had hoped it would be. This is life. You miss someone and want to see them and then when you do they are to busy with other friends, or clothes, to really even talk.

This Sunday, the old nounou of the Delile family flew in from New York. It will be cool to finally meet her. We have talked on the phone a couple times, and IM more than a few times. She seems like a really cool girl. She is busy writing a paper for school right now, but maybe tomorrow we will hang out.

Yesterday I had a good day, but then a not so good evening with Laure, the youngest. I really need to work on figuring her out a little more. She was really just a little monster. I think Lydie was right, I should stop trying to use the reward system on her, it just doesn't work. She just gets even more upset. Blah! It always used to work for me when I was little.

Today I am typing out a list of songs that I think J.b. should download onto his iPod. That ipod is so cool, it is an invaluable part of our walking about. On the metro, Bernadette said that we were like Siamese twins joined at the ear. Which is funny, because it is true. What's really funny is when we start singing along and no one else can hear the song. We are such geeks.
I just tried to put some links in my side bar, but I failed. I will fix that tomorrow if I have the patience then. So, yeah life is still good, even though I didn't get a chance to buy a goldfish yet.

I really want a gold fish!

Pictures from Disneyland Paris!

Ok, so beneath, in little groups, are some cool pictures of the stuff I got to see at Disneyland three weeks ago. Not all of them were taken by us, I downlaoded a few from the official sight. I wanted you to see what I got to see, but we didn't take enough pictures. In my opinion anyways. It was just that the kids and Lydie had been there a few times already, so it wasn't as much of a novelty for them as it was for me. Hence so few pictures.

Hope you like them though!



Heck yeah! Pirates of the Caribbean! Lydie told me it was the best one at the park, and it was so cool that we went through twice in a row!











A couple of Ladies being auctioned off by the pirates. Poor things.












Ooh, pretty shiny things! Look at all the riches!















(Now, think of different pirates.)

"Captain! Oh Captain look at me!"














Then, when you have his attention he ruins the photo with his hook. How just like a pirate!














Don't do it Wendy, Peter will save you!














Indians!














It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a small world after all...etc. etc.















Another famous figure I saw when I was there.



















This is Big Thunder mountain. It was a pretty cool ride.














Just a little sign that reminded me, in the middle of my day dreaming, that I was still in France. (Fastpass enter with ticket.)














This is Sleeping Beauty's catsle. Isn't it beautiful! It was real too, not Poly filler-ish.

One of the floats in the parade. It was really nice I got to wave to Mickey Mouse! I think Goofy, Pluto and Donald were in this one, but I am not sure.


Round and round the merry-go-round!
I was having fun, but it doesn't look like my horse was. It must be the giant pole they shoved through her back. I would probably make that face too if I had one through my back. By the way, the boy next to me is Thomas, the oldest of the three children I mind. And, I have to give props to Aurélie, the middle child, because she took this picture while riding her own horse backwards. Now that is talent!

The fulfillment of a childhood dream.

When I was a little girl, living in a suburb of Chicago, I remember one day when my father said that we were going to be touring the local pawn shops that day. There was a pin of some kind that one of my grandfathers had given to my mother a long time ago. It was definitely and antique and this was during one of those times when day was sick and we were seriously out of money. I remember that I was still the only girl in the family, but that I already had 5 brothers. It was before my mom got pregnant with Jubilee, my closest sister. I must have been about 71/2 or 8 years old. Way back when there were really only 3 things I could talk to my brothers about without the threat of getting picked on or pushed aside. We could talk about sports. Mainly baseball, because we were all of us in a league, but we could also talk about basketball. Because at that time Michael Jordan was still the hottest thing around and "Duh Bulls" were doing awesome. We could talk about Mom and dad and how unfair we thought they were, or how cool we thought they were and what kind of presents we thought we could convince them to buy us for Christmas. And we could talk about Disney Land.
I remember seeing how sad my father was that day as we drove around from pawn shop to pawn shop. I also remember what it was my 4 brothers and I were talking about: Disney Land. We all wanted to go so badly. I dreamed Disney dreams, slept in Mickey Mouse sheets, and every night when I saw the first star in the sky I would wish on it that I would be able to fly like Peter Pan. Back then we had one very tiny television, and my father was continually taking it away from us and hiding it so that we would go outside to play, because when we had it we watched Disney movies all day long.
He loved everything Disney too, and was happy that we loved them, but on that day, all of our cheerful dreaming aloud was really hurting him. He knew that we wanted to go there and he knew how much fun we could all have there, but he also, probably, knew that we would never be able to all go as a family. I can't remember exactly who asked it but one of us said 'Pop when can we go to Disney Land?' I was young, but I remember how he was struggling with the answer. He knew that we lived more on the dreams of tomorrow than in our lives of the day. He said that we would all go someday, but that he wasn't sure when. Then I said "But Pop, if we sell the silver thing we will be rich right!? Then we can go to Disney Land can't we?" He smiled at me and said something like 'Yes, if we get rich from selling the pin then we can go to Disney Land.' I was satisfied. I was happy that our days mission might lead to Disney Land. M
When my father stopped at another pawn shop, this one in Cicero, he told us this was the last one and that we could stay in the car if we wanted. Some of us stayed and some of us went. Jonathan, my immediate older brother, and I stayed in the car. We had both seen enough old stuff for the day. I remember what he said to me after dad had been gone for just a few minutes. "We're never going to all be able to go you know? Even if Pop gets a couple hundred bucks, which is a lot, we still can't go. We are one of those families that can never go. We're poor, Ooty, POOR, and there is no way that it will ever happen." When my father came back to the car I had stopped talking about Disney Land. A part of me had died that day. I don't hate Jon for saying it, but I do hate myself for believing him.

Last Friday I went to Disney Land Paris. I wept 3 silent tears as we drove through the gates. The first ride I went on was the Peter Pan one. I didn't spend 1 cent and I saw and did so much. So there Jon Bean! It doesn't matter if you have money or not Captain Hook still gives you a hug if you want one.

I will try to upload the pictures as soon as I figure out how.

After note: In my family we all have nick names. No one really goes by their given name. We always remember to introduce each other by our real names, but we hardly ever use them other wise.
The List of family given nick names:
Dad = Pop/Popper "P" the potomus/ and as we got older "Crazy Pete" behind his back.
Mom = Mom/Mammy/ and Pop calls her Muffin or sometimes Pernelli Muff
Nathan = Gump/Nate
David = Dave/Davie
Jonathan = Jon bean
Havilah = Ooty/Ooty Pie
Peter = Pider/Pi
Joseph = Joe bug
Jubilee = Juby/ Jub-jub/Jub a lub/Booby
Galadriel = Gelly/ Jelly belly

I should be doing something better with my time!

Instead, currently I am in the process of memorizing the words to "L'Hymne De Nos Campagnes" by Tryo. It is in French, but JB lent the cd to me yesterday and said that I should learn the refrain, so I said that I would learn the whole song. Yeah, just watch me chew this bite. It's a cool song though and if I could make the sound byte thingy work I would post some of it for those of you in the States to hear. I suggest that you look it up if you have time. You can ask google to translate it for you if you want.

In other news:

I love the bath tub in the Deliles home. I can float in it, and if I want to add more hot water I can just use my toes to turn the nobs! The best tub ever.

I think I will dye my hair again, I will just go a bit darker. I thought I had gotten rid of the blonde in October, but the other day, in an elavator, I showed JB my drivers license. The picture had me with short dark hair, and he was surprised, "But your not blonde?" To which I replied that I am not blonde now either, just light brown. He said I was too blonde! Apparently I hadn't noticed but I had become blonde again. I guess the permanent color just kept fading so slowly that I didn't see it happening. Why won't the dark color stay in my hair! I'm gonna try to be my regular brunette self again soon. The dye is only 5 euro, so why not?

Today I added up how many of those tests I have taken on Tickle and I came to the number 122. Can you imagine how many hours I must have spent on that sight by now? I'm disgusted with myself! I have been taking them for 3 years now. (I dunno, some of theresults are funny.)If anyone wants to they can check out what I am like, according to Tickle. It tells you such things as my IQ, what type of secrets I keep burried, whether I am right brained or left, what my handwritting says about me, and other various things. Go for it people. I am done with Tickle now anyways, I don't like how much I have been on there lately, so I give you free reign to mess with my profile if you want, and even take weird tests yourself with my profile if you want. I'm gonna delete it in a month or so anyways. Here is the link for you: http://web.tickle.com/account/tests/ To sign in use havilah17 and maggie as the password.

Bonjour, Celine! Je suis étonné de voir votre note. Drôle! Jb indiquent à moi que votre sont une soeur très bonne. Je serai heureux de vous rencontrer. Merci de l'invitation. Peut-etre je vous vois dans Noël. (pour maintenant, il est très difficile d'ecrire en français!)

Hello to Kate Slattery as well! Crazyness that I get two notes from my friends big sisters on the same day. Good to hear from you! Mary told me about Ireland. I think that is an awesome opportunity for you. You know you are more than welcome to come visit France, and me, if you get some spare time and 20 euro for the flight! I have a spare bed and I could show you the little bit of this city that I do know.

I will now proceed to try and find a photo booth to get 4 pictures taken in order to give to la prefecture. I should get my long stay visa when I finish with this last part of the application. It will be really nice to finally have it. Gotta run!

Stephenie DiCarlo is engaged!

I just got the email and I was crying like a baby.
I'm losing another friend to marriage! Bah humbug!
*theme song for Havilah today: "Only the Lonely"*

We are still so young, but my word, how the years go by so quickly?

In other news:
France is getting better all the time. I am dying to learn the language so I can speak with everyone, but I am progressing so slowly. What I really need is the French language in musical format. I think I would learn it faster that way. I could just sing it all day, when the kids are gone to school and the parents are at work, and I might even do like Mrs. Fedoryka used to say and listen in my sleep. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be anything like that available to me. he he he my luck sucks.
I have started making French friends, well one at least, his name is Jean Baptiste, but everyone calls him J.B. Absolutely nothing romantic at all, though he is pretty handsome, we are just really kindred spirits. We both love music, travel and meeting strange people. So we get along great and he just loves showing off his city to me. Last night we walked so much. We walked around inside Sacré Heart in Mont Marte, around The tower, along the river, and then past Notre Dame. After all that, we took the metro/walked to his house and I met his mom, and then he drove me to my place and we played with my globe till almost 1 in the morning! Craziness I tell ya craziness. He is just as good as me with names of countries, and even better than me with the country capitals. He is trying to help me learn to speak, but it's weird, because although I don't particularly mind speaking French, poorly, in my classes, I don't like to speak it to him. He is so good in English that it makes me feel so stupid when I am trying to construct my baby sentences in French. He says that I need to try harder, so I will. I need to work on my humility anyways!
Yesterday afternoon, I completely finished unpacking and decorating in my chambre. I am glad to have my own little place away from the family. It is very, very small, but I like the fact that I have somewhere that I can go to when I am done with work, or when I want to have a friend over to hang out.
I want to go home for Christmas break sooooo much, but I think that it will not be worth it really. I won't have ANY money for the whole of Jan. if I spend it on the flights there and back, so I am pretty much resigned to the fact that I am going to spend another Christmas away from home. Sadness. I am now trying to plot what I am going to be doing, but I really don't know what is available yet. Maybe, J.b. will invite me to spend it with him and his family and that might be nice, but I don't want the family to get the wrong idea or anything... blah! I dunno I suppose I really shouldn't care if they think we are going out or not. I mean eventually, they should be able to figure it out just by our body language right? Why am I even thinking this... I guess I just never really had a best friend that was a guy before. Ok, so that is one option or, I could try spending it abroad in another country sightseeing. So the question is: Where is a good place to spend 2 weeks in the middle of winter? Rome? I was thinking that, but I am not sure if I will have enough for the hostels, or even if they are open over Christmas... Throw me some suggestions.

I have to finish ironing now! Whoo hoo I love ironing!

If I only had a brain!

Ok. No one reads the links apparently, but that's ok! 'Cause when I went back and read it again I realized what a huge mistake I had made anyways!
Ha! The 'sermon' I linked in to my last post was not made by people in the Catholic Lite denomination, but agaisnt them. Yes, I feel like an idiot. I pulled one of my old tricks of skimming the beginning and going for the inards of the argument. So I completely missed the who was arguing against whom part. My bad!
I am actually glad now that my little blog is not very noticible. I would not have wanted to step on the wrong toes and get nasty posts about how stupid I am for making these types of mistakes. lol. I promise I'll be more attentive next time and a little less jugdemental right off the bat.

*Havilah softly whistles to herself* "If I only had a brain!"

Also, Kate cleared me up on my questions, but since next to one else really cares to help me answer them, I am pretty sure that next to no one else cares what the answers are. So, yeah I am not gonna post them today.
By the way, I am really dissapointed that none of my other Ave friends said anything to help me. Bad you !

Interesting thoughts on catholic baptism.

I was in a Catholic Forum, and I ran across a post on Phillips fast. I wondered what it was about, so I kept reading in that thread. I came to realize that one of the Catholics who was talking about this, was not a Roman Catholic, or any other Catholic that I was familiar with, but instead was something called a Catholic Lite. I had never heard of them! So, like a good, (curious, little, monkey) girl, I Googled "Catholic Lite" to see what they were all about.
(Ok, so I don't know much about them even after I Googled, but I still wanna say this broad generalizing thing about them... No I won't say it, I really want to, but I won't.)
What I do want to talk about is this sermon thing that I found and read: http://www.prime.org/audio/CatholicLiteSermon1-13-2001.html
It says some interesting things about being baptized in the name of Jesus, and not in the Trinity. It says, basically, that Romans Catholics are really bad. Yeah, really bad to have taken Jesus' name out of baptism. It has many, many, excerpts from the Bible and other sources, that reinforce the point it is trying to make.
I was all bristly when I read it first. However, that is normal for me. I always go all bristly and defensive of my Church in Rome. I sometimes like to look at anti-catholic, anti-Rome, literature (propaganda), and then go looking for my own little answers on other Roman Catholic sights. Ok, what bothered me is that I didn't find one this time. It is really bothering me, because something in the verses they quoted is ringing true to my heart.
Look at this one in particular:
Acts 19:4 Then said Paul, John verily baptized with the baptism of repentance, saying unto the people, that they should believe on him which should come after him, that is, on Christ Jesus. 5 When they heard this, they were baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. 6 And when Paul had laid his hands upon them, the Holy Ghost came on them; and they spake with tongues, and prophesied.
Then all the questions started coming at once and I ran out of patience to look, so I decided to just post them here, and hope that God convinces the answers to find me instead of me having to search them out.
Questions:
What if we are just missing that little bit?
(Side note: I don't particularly desire the gift of speaking in tongues, but I am really interested in, yearning for, the gift to interpret them.)
Is it possible to have a valid Ordination without a valid Baptism?
I'm pretty sure the answer is no, so then what? Can they be right? It's then logically possible for them to deduce that we are being led astray, and not following God's will. Our Popes would then become invalid wouldn't they? Or is there a loop hole?
What about the whole Baptism of Desire?
Someone has got to tie that one in there for me as well.

I admit that I have read history about bad/evil popes, but I have only known JPII. I felt the Holy Spirit was with him. How about that Baptism of Desire?

That stupid 'sermon' has got me all flustered. I might forward all this jargon to an old Professor or two and see what they have to say, but right now I am looking for other sources. Hey, all you theological people, drop me a line! Please, help me out here.

Some nice things.

God is good.
I am mellow and dramatic at the same time, but God is still good.
I got the keys to the car yesterday. I am so happy. I will no longer have to worry about walking home in the dark from the train station. This is a good thing.
Today, I went singing in front of Notre Dame, and I made 15.43 €, in about an hour. Not bad at all! I will pick a slightly different place to stand tomorrow and see if I can get any better. I am always struck by a desire to thank Mrs. Fedoryka whenever I do well singing. Almost all of the songs I sung today I learned with her. I miss vocal training. I can tell my voice isn't where it was two years ago. I can hear that I have lost a few high notes and that bugs me. If any of you dear Aveites should see her please tell her I love her, miss her, and am eternally grateful to her for all that she has done for me.
Tomorrow I might be joining a Gospel Choir/performing group thingy. A lady in my church gave me a number to call... Time will tell whether or not I have the gumption to dial a French phone number, with out knowing the person on the other end before hand. I might end up asking Bruno or Lydie for help, but I don't want to because they are always helping me so much.
I feel like I am in a constant state of being helped by them. I was agian remined today about how blessed I was in being chosen by their family and not being tricked into another family. In my language class there is a girl about my age, from Poland, who is working for a family with 5 children. (I wouldn't mind that so much if I was still getting all the other nice benefits that I am, but the rest of her situation is appalling.) She has to work at least 10 hrs every day, often 60-65 hrs a week, including Saturday. She doesn't speak French or English only Polish, so she can hardly comunicate with anyone here. She is getting paid beans, a lot less than is the normal rate for au pairs here anyways. She has to live with the family, and she has no mode of transportation other than her feet. Several of the other girls in my class and I are trying to find her a new family to work for, but so far no luck.
How exactly I always end up in such good situations is unknown to me, the only way I can even hope to understand is by thinking of myself as a child closing my eyes tightly as I hold God's hand and he leads me through this world of uncertainty. (That though has come from a thought/prayer by St. Rita, I am not sure where to refer you. I had looked her up recently and that thought stuck out for me. She is an awesome saint.) I am so blessed.

A diva, Me!

You're Part Diva

You know that a girl's gotta work it to get her way in the world.And while you aren't about to throw a tantrum at every turn...You do amp up the drama when you know you need it.You mix charm, honesty, and kindness to get ahead.

Are You a Diva?

I'm a doll.

Your Inner Retro Girl Is

1950s Doll

What Retro Girl Are You?

That's good, because I look good in red lipstick.

Sweet

Your Reputation Is: Sweet Girl

While you're well known, there's nothing to worry about.You're reputation is mostly good - as good as any rep can be.

What's" Your Reputation?

Nice one. I knew I would be an odd Super hero.

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Duke TorpedoYour Superpower is Distant AttackYour Weakness is Cold WeatherYour Weapon is Your Venomous PitchforkYour Mode of Transportation is Stilts

What's" your Superhero Name?

An adventure, a longing feeling, a thought on poverty and riches, and 2 top ten lists, some more words,and a game of sorts for my friends and readers!

THE ADVENTURE:
I had a small adventure coming home from Paris last night. I was waiting in the metro station for my train and I saw this big black fellow ask someone pasing by for a cigarrete. The other guy said no, but I was feeling generous, so I bummed a cigarette to him. He proceeded to try and talk to me in French and I realized that he was really drunk, so I said that I didn't understand French and started to walk away. He said 'oh, English!' And proceeded to try and tell me how beautiful I was and blah blah. I tried to leave, but I found that I wasn't really able to get him to stop trying to speak to me, in his poor english, long enough to say 'ok thanks good bye.' Luckily my train started to pull into the station and I was at the far end of the platform so I said oh this is my train bye, and quickly started to trot towrds the nearest car. Unfortunately, he followed me onto my train. I tried to be nice and make him leave me alone, but he was plastered and didn't get the idea. I sat across from this other guy, who looked very harmless while reading his book, hoping that would deture the drunken guy. It didn't, he sat next to me and I was starting to get freaked. Not badly, but sort of. The guy across from us, not being drunk, noticed that I was having a hard time of it and so he started to talk to me in english and kind of distract the guy. The black guy was supposed to be getting off at Versaille Rd. and the other fellow and I were both getting off before him at La Celle St Cloud. However, when we got off the black guy followed me again. The other guy, named Arnold, offered to escourt me home. I thought that was probably a good idea. He wasn't a very big guy, but I thought it better to have a small, not drunk, white guy walking me home than to walk home alone with a large, semi scary, drunken, black man following me. The black guy stopped following me after a bit, and I got home safe but it was deffinitally a weird experiance. I will be far more careful as to whom I give cigarettes to in the future!

THE LONGING FEELING:
I don't think I will be able to save enough money to go home for Christmass and I am getting all bummed out about it. I don't want to spend another Christmas without people I love. I don't want to be alone in Paris. I would be happy to spend it with my friends in Ireland, except that I have some really bad memories spending last Christmas there with "he who shall not be mentioned" and his family, so I would rather not go to Ireland. I am thinking about going south. Maybe my friend Maria, from Ireland, is going to go home to Spain for Christmas. I might ask to visit her and her family for Christmas. I might try and spend it with another Irish contact named Stephanie in Bretagne, that's in the north west of France. I don't know... Do any of you have ideas as to where I should go. I still owe money to Mel and my mom, so I really can't even think about coming home. (Mel it is coming! I haven't forgotten your kindness in my hour of need. )

THE THOUGHT:
I hear that money can be a burden for the soul. Clouding the mind and making it harder to think of God and easier to think about worldly possesions. However, I find that not having any money, ok in my instance I have 5 euro for the rest of the month, is also a burden and draws me away from God. I am always distracted and worrying about paying my bills, student loans, and freinds back. Not to mention worrying semi constantly and being uncomfortable in my social surroundings, because of my clothes. My one pair of jeans that didn't have a whole in the knee, have started to simply become worn out. (Most girls know where jeans wear out the fastest and are next to impossible to patch.) I can't wear them anymore, so I am left with only my 2 pairs of old lady pants to wear. I would really love to buy a new pair of jeans, but I don't have resources to do so. The fact that I am always slightly uncomfortable in my surroundings distracts me from being sweet and social like I would like to be. It also bothers me that when I go to mass I am uncomfortable. I know this is pathetic and vain, but it is a distraction for me and is making it hard for me to concentrate on Jesus and not the people around me. I know others who have greater needs, but this in and of itself doesn't really help me to feel better about being poor. It actually just makes me sadder about the state I am in because I am unable to help them like I want to.

Rhetorical question: Why is it that the people who want to help others are the people least able to do so?

I don't know, I guess I am still young and that there will be plenty of opportunities in the future to help people. Maybe someday I will get rich from singing and will be able to help change the world! Probably not, but hey it's still a nice day dream.

THE LISTS:
Top ten list of what I would do had I an inexorbitant amount of money:
1.) Pay all debts back for myself. Student loans, medical bills... etc.
2.) Pay all debts back for all my friends. Kate and Lum at the top of the list, but closely followed by many of my friends at Ave who have done their best to follow Gods will and get an education, but in the process have, like myself, become indebted to so many.
3.) Pay all debts back for my parents and siblings. Yes, I put this one after my friends because, my parents have such old debts that their credit is already ruined and it really wouldn't matter if they waited a week or two longer for their money. My friends need it now.
4.) Secure a well insulated, simpley furnished, comfortably spaced, little house where my family can live without worrying about freezing in the winter or having hay bails as a sofa. Yes, we really have done it.
5.) Find out if there is any possibility of getting my father a liver transplant (He has Hepatitis C), my mother some kind of help with her weight problem (maybe a stomach staple?), my brother Peter and sister Jubilee braces, my brother David a completely paid for tuition for the next '4 years at Oxford. So that he doesn't have to leave after a year.
6.) Find some way to help Ave Maria College in Michigan. If nes. I would help them to pay anything they need to pay in order to stay alive for the rest of the time God has Earth spinning, or until the institution becomes corrupt. The later not likely to happen for at least 100 years.
7.) Arrange for a huge shipment of medical supplies and food to be shipped to Calcutta India along with several very carefully selected doctors who would be paid to live and work there for as long as they chose to stay. I would of course want the best most kind hearted people and would of course be willing to pay for whatever they needed.
8.) Donate large sums of money to several religious orders that I know would use the money to further Gods plans.
9.) Donate large sums of money to the Pro-Life movements in America and Europe.
10.) Go work in Calcutta for at least a year, and leave the money to my father to worry about while I was gone.

Top ten things I would be tempted to do if I had inexorbitant amounts of money:
1.) Get lyposuction. He he he It sounds so simple! My bum could be perfect!
2.) Buy lots of beautiful clothes. Nothing vulgar, but some beautiful skirts and blouses and a few pairs of shoes.
3.) Spoil my friends with expensive gifts that I know they don't really need, but would like. Cars, trips to exotic places... etc.
4.) Travel the whole world by myself or with... He he he I won't say who.
5.) Make the side of my barn into a drive in movie theatre and watch more money roll in! The closest theatre to my families home in Wisconsin is a 45 minute drive. Most people near us have to drive even farther. We could make a killing with a drive in right where we are located.
6.) Build Hobbit home in the side of a hill on my farm! Oh so cool.
7.) Have a huge party with lots of food and great musicians. Free for my friends from everywhere. It would be a huge reunion of sorts. I would fly ALL my friends to it! Everyone, Germans, Frenchies, Italians, Irish, Polish, everyone related to Ave, proffessors and their families included, all my long lost friends in Illinois, my parents friends, and those that they have long lost as well, and maybe a few choice people from Wisconsin including Slatterys, Korishs, and most of my brother Davids friends. I would have the beginning last for a month and have different groups arrive at different times so that I was able to se everyone, and then finish it with the huge evening bash.
8.) Find a really good organist/pianist and hire them along with a good bunch of singers to work for my church. Every mass would have good music.
9.) Pay my brother and another to write songs for me to sing and record.
10.) Be lazy and take a few select female friends of mine to a beauty retreat center thingy.

SOME MORE WORDS:
Hahaha I can't stop babbleing in this post. But I think that isn't really unusual. Katie, Louise, Mel, what would you girls do if you had all the money you could ever need or spend? You'd save Ave too, and since its on my list you don't need to put it on your list.

THE GAME OF SORTS:
Oooh ooh I have an idea!!!! I say that Kate goes next and writes a list of things she would do with our inexorbitant amount of money. She can leave out Ave and any other things that she would do and I have already said I would do, such as give to pro-life and religious orders, I say that she has to come up with her own ten ways to change her world. But at the bottom of her list she can say which ones of mine she would have also listed had I not listed them first. Then Weezy should go next off of Kates list, then Mel off of Weezies, then Justin off of Mels, then as many people as I can get. I want to know how my friends would change the world they live in to make themselves and those they care about the happiest, healthiest, holiest people ever! Yeah happy thoughts!

Go kate go!
By the way if you are not one of my friends and you happen to have stumbled across my blog I would be happy to know you exist. Please say 'hi' in my comments box and try writing your own ten things. You can post them here if you have no where else to post them! Tell me how the world could be different!

Wow, I really hope not too many people think of me in this way.

I get very bored, so I take quizzes online to see what I can get. This one was interesting, first I got Sunflower then I went back and the second time through it I got this result:

Victoria/William U dont really belong in this time period, u r a bit
old fashioned, but that makes u cool and
unique!

What'>http://quizilla.com/users/PaulsGirl007/quizzes/What%20name%20fits%20you%20best%3F/">What name fits you best?
brought to you by No comments:

Ok, I'm me again.

Sorry, I didn't mean to be all psycho in that last blog. I had originally written a very nice one and taken alot of time on it too, but it went the way of the Dodo and never made it to your eyes.
My back is healing very quickly and I expect to be able to perform all my favorite dance moves in about a week. I'm still taking some medicine, but less than I was taking and only stuff that I can drink with and not become addicted too. Ha ha ha, that would be perfect! Can you imagine me addicted to pain killers? I would be the coolest addict ever. Joking. I think that I am fairly immune to addictive things of that nature, so you don't need to fear for me.
I would have to say that on the whole most of my friends at Ave find me to be a very pleasent person, probably thinking that I never really had any bad experiences in life, and never really did anything bad either. Get ready for a shock! I have had many very bad experiences outside of my dearest Ave bubble, and I have sinned probably more than any other person ever enrolled at Ave. I've tried it all. I have done it all, and now have proven myself to be the fool my father said I would be, by learning by experience rather than anothers wisdom.
The odd thing, at least I think it is odd, is that I never lose face or my iner self. Not really anyways. Nothing permenantly damaging to my inner charecter ever takes place. I wonder about this. It seems that God gave me just the right amount of childish nature to continually be able to pick my self up again and continue. It has always been that nothing matters but that I do pick myself up and try to finish walking towards Him. However, this line of thought has also been an occasion of sin for me as it leads me to the, ''No matter what I do wrong, God will catch me if I start to fall to fast.'' theory which some times tricks me into committing more sins than if I had not thought about it.
I want to be a good person, really I do. Wait let me correct that and be completely honest. I want to be a saint. A famous and great saint. I want to be able to pull down blessings on to the people that I meet every day. I want to convert the world with in my reach, and I want to reach it all. I suffer from the sin of Pride. Well, sometimes I suffer, but most of the time I actually enjoy my daydreaming of grandure. I would love to be a martyr. Oh, that would be the shit. That would be so easy! One quick, ok possibly long and tortured for days, death in Jesus name. Then He couldn't possibly turn me away could He? The world would love me too. I want that so much. I love the world, so why does it feel like it is ignoring me. Oh wait, it might be because of that Litany of Humility I said back when I was having a devout spell. Hahaha!!!
I know. I know. My delusions of grandure would never work . I know that I will have to just keep plodding along and wait till I die from... you fill in the blank. It wouldn't work because it would be one of those instances of "Doing the right thing for the wrong reason." Why did Elliot have to write it down for the world to recognize!?

I was only joking about being me agian. The truth is that I am always me, but that I choose to show only certain parts of me to certain people. I have friends that don't know I can sing or that I cook. I want it that way. I have friends that think I love drinking, smoking, and partying with loud pop music. I want it that way. I have friends that think I would never go near a party with a ten foot pole. I want it that way. I have friends that think I am simple minded, they might be right, but I still want it that way. I have friends that think I am a religious freak. I want them to think that. I have friends who think I am a very sweet, honest, caring, compassionate, and intelligent enough girl. They might be wrong, but I want them to think these things of me. I have friends in so many places, of so many types, and they all think I am more something in particular than I actually am of my whole. Believe it or not, I am actually quite a bit like, umm, I hate to say it but I have to, Erin W. I am just better at the game.
You may all proceed to question my motives for being so nice now in the past, and so strangly honest to you today. The interesting thingt is that whomever you think I am, I will continue to be to you, so I hope you think of me still as your friend.

I hurt.

I can't stand it. I just wrote a long narrative blog that laid bare my soul and my fears and what has happend to me during this last week. But is just disapeared. I want to scream. I hurt my back by falling off a horse in the middle of the french countryside. I wanted to die because of the pain. Everyone kept staring I wanted to scream I wanted to be able to make myself stop crying. I took my first ambulance ride. I had multiple x-rays taken. I am able to walk and sit but only like I have a stick up my... I can't sleep. I am in pain. I feel like an idiot. I need my friends. I don't have them. No one cares. No one understands me. I am in pain, I am taking 4 pills every 5 hours or so and I am so fucking pissed. Not that anyone is going to read this today, but no I am not going to apologize for typing fucking. It is pefect for a situation like this one.